Feel like a HYPOCRITE or a PHONY when you talk about yourself, your work? Talk today like nobody's listening & tomorrow you'll be heard.

Host of "The Nobody's Listening Show"… Tell YOUR story like nobody's listening! Want to be a guest/contestant? MONDAYS – 8:30pm EST Launches Winter 2018

Minky the Mock Coach

Hi. I’m Minky.

Minky, The Mock Coach is the title. That’s right. I play a “fake” coach on my talk and game show. Minky is a “personna” or character that is me; but it’s more my alter ego. (some of you may want to create a “personna” too in your work. Authenticity is grand, but sometimes especially early on, we may want to expose just a part of our inner self by being a “character”. This can be fun too.)



Being a “fake” coach I have a no-holds-barred approach to helping new coaches find their Fun Story Short, to be yourself and inspire folks. I also help folks lose 30 lbs. or less. If you are just interested in creating your Fun Story Short and not trimming down your thighs nor losing some weight; that’s fine, just ignore my exercise/diet rules. I personally think you need to do both, but I understand if you feel differently than I do about my eating rituals and types of food. (very personal, I know)



Here are some of my values and strategies below.  I value laughing and listening the most. I have created both your Fun Story Short strategies/rules combined with the weight loss strategies/rules, just to show you some of my examples. (They do NOT represent any type of order)





They may, however, represent what you shouldn’t do as a professional coach. Like for example:

  • I won’t ask you for permission to do something.
  • I will tell you what to do (You will not have to “figure it out” as I guide you)
  • I demand my clients have certain things (like create a “private Idaho” and contrarian opinion. You have one and I’ll find it! You can’t possibly agree with everything, can you? Are you trying to be liked by everyone? When people know where you stand, they respect you more, even if they don’t agree with you. STOP folding like a cheap lawn chair that your Uncle Jimmy flopped in at 4th of July barbecue.)
  • You need to feel a certain way (like feeling a little edgy or risky or sassy, no whining, and get this – we don’t knock arrogance, we actually encourage some of this, etc.) before we agree to work together.

But remember, I am not  a professional coach. I am a Mock coach. The Mock Coach and I do things my way.

Like I heard from Adam Urbanski years ago, build your own playground with your own rules. If people don’t follow your rules of play, they simply can’t play in your playground. (A sandbox has been used in this analogy before; but I think that is thinking too small).

  • Must have a sense of humor to start (something for me to work with) I realize that not everything is a joke or funny, but if you approach me with that attitude or statement, we are not going to be compatible. And we’ll both move on.
  • Must be willing to not eat so fucking much.
    We practice CCRAN (Calorie Cycling Restriction Adequate Nutrition)
  • Don’t tell everything you know to people who don’t care
  • Don’t tell everything you know to people who do care. Just don’t tell everything you know.
  • Balance is bunk. (I’ll expand a little with this one since it is so popular) The body has homeostasis (It’s striving for this all the time). Yet, we have shit to do. Nothing happens in the middle when you want to make a change in your world. Your energy goes where your focus does. You can’t FOCUS on more than one thing. Isn’t that the very definition of “focus”? To me to be “balanced” is to be scattered-brain… no focus… everything is in balance and gets your same attention and energy. No thanks. Many things were discovered by the “staying in the basement” scientist and the wife/husband and family upstairs doing their own thing, right? They were never balanced were they. Was Mark Zuckenberg’s life balanced those early years of writing code for Facebook? No. Of course not. So, I teach counter-balance.
  • There are no healthy people; just people healthier than you
  • Have a contrarian opinion… without apology
  • Don’t Exercise to Lose Weight; exercise for any other reason but this one.
  • My exercise, a no bulk routine. Especially for mature women with joint issues from years of working on your feet and taking care of kids, grand kids and things at a few homes. (ie: I’m taking care of my home and my elderly father’s home) Now your body is talking to you.
  • Like face to face contact… at some point
  • Start Out How You Want To End Up

If you can agree and even get excited about those opinions above, we are going to have a great time not coaching (by standard coaching principles). Here’s what the desired outcome is for you…

  • You get a your very own – Fun Story Short – to share and entertain others with. I’m a story listener and I want to hear your story… BUT I won’t let you go on and on. I have a time limit and I set it for you during your story telling session. Usually at day one. ALSO, since I specialize in getting something funny out of your story, from listening intently to it, I’m sure I’ll hear something that you wouldn’t hear. It’s something that you didn’t see in a certain way before. I help you pull that out and make that a conversational piece instead of your accolades. (It does not have to be hilarious funny, just amusing may work)
  • Thinner thighs (No squats, No lunges, No plyometrics/crossshit, no burpees, nothing with “Russian” in it)
  • Escape from being a slave to food and eating all the time
  • You won’t tell everything you know. Don’t be an open book!!!
  • How to eat what you want without guilt or gain. Really. I do it every day. Other people do it every day too. People just like you… but thinner and not obsessed with food.
  • Make real connections (not just likes and followers)
  • A group may be formed to increase connection with like- minded, interesting individuals
  • Attend upcoming retreat
  • Improve listening skills through listening to other people’s story and/or conversation
  • How to get comfortable with not talking. Not being so reactionary. This will actually get you people’s attention more than talking. Trust me. It’ll be in a quiet, noble way. (Warning: if you were/are the big mouth, and you tell everything you know, you might have to take it in stages with this one. No talk, not so much)
  • Self-expression
  • Self-acceptance
  • Autonomy
  • Stress reduction
  • How to become more interesting (Tip here… become more interested)

Well, that’s all for now. I will be more specific in upcoming posts. Thank you for reading. My mock coaching tab above has some complimentary gifts, if you want. They have been updated.

Veternan’s Day is bittersweet Mommies are special

Happy Veteran’s Day, of course.

Thank all of you Veterans for your service indeed.

But this day in bittersweet for me. Today particularly.

It was 10 years ago my best friend left me.

I went to talk to my mom about it…






It was a one-sided conversation. I’m not sure if she got my message.

Her body was there but was her spirit? I pretended like it was.

See, my mom was my best friend; she “got me” like know one else.

She died while exercising in a treadmill on a Monday, November 12, 2007. (That’s why I don’t exercise on Mondays)
It was actually Veteran’s Day that day. My older brother, a Navy veteran, was celebrating in a parade, when I called and broke the news to him.  He never participated in a Veteran’s Day parade since.

“Mommies are special” an acquaintance told me once. They were/are so right!

My father an “Army brat”, as they say, grew up on an army base in Germany, then enlisted in the Air Force. He’s still alive… thank God.


mommies are special, Veteran's Day











2 steps to the left, there lie my grandparents (my father’s parents).













My grandfather, who died in 1993, was a WWII Army veteran, I honor him today too.

Yep, today is so bittersweet. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years already. It feels like yesterday… Mom.

I miss you so much mom.


truth slapped, fun story short, nursing



Ever been truth-slapped?

“Don’t change your act, change your audience”
~Lisa Sasevich was told this to her by her father, a famous ventriloquist

lisa sasevich







At every event that I saw Lisa, she would quote her father and tell us this great quote. We even would yell it back to her as a group of hundreds. I really resonated with that quote…

Lisa Sasevich, fun story short








I heard that from Lisa S. about 7 years ago. Over and over again. Why haven’t I taken heed?


What about this quote:


“Only hang with people who recognize the greatness in themselves”
~David Neagle


Why you ask? Because as David goes on to say, “If you don’t have the self confidence, self-esteem, etc. to see the greatness in you… you can’t see the greatness in others.”


People who don’t see their worth, often are haters, criticizers and negative. They cannot be creative when they are always trying “to get”.


I admire these 2 people very much. Spent a lot of money learning from them. But I never really acted on their lesson. It wasn’t until I got truth slapped did all their lessons finally open my eyes. Particularly those 2 quotes.


I was living as a Zombie for almost 10 years, until I was “truth-slapped” not too long ago. Not “bitch-slapped”, but “truth-slapped” into a new perspective. (a “bitch slap” is a slang term used when a pimp would slap “a bitch”, his woman, so hard it would spin her around and wake her up to never do or say that again!)



10 years ago this year, the date November 12th, my best friend – my mother – died. She dropped dead while on a treadmill. My mom, a Registered Nurse, would say, “When you die… you’re dead. Hopefully you won’t suffer and go quick.”


Well mom, you got your wish.


We (my mom and I) would travel around together. I did talks on stress, exercise & weight loss and worked as a RN to pay my bills. I talked about what my irrational want was and still is today – NOT having my thighs rub together and ways to reduce your thunder thighs. I tried to be “professional”, but often my stand-up comedian part of me would come out. I would even drop the “F bomb” if it fit.


In my world, there is a time to be serious but most times not. Some times my mom seemed to be the only one who laughed out loud at my jokes from the stage. That laughter would start other laughter, it would be contagious. GOOD TIMES!


But after she died, suddenly the way she did, I retreated and felt that I HAD to continue to work as a nurse, for her NOT me.


I wasn’t the best nurse or employee.


My attempts at trying be someone that I wasn’t – was, in hindsight, comical. Even sometimes dangerous, which is not so funny.


From stealing toilet paper to calling out because I had an audition to pretending a paranoid patient’s food was poisoned (yeah, heresy I know), I was in the wrong place.


I stopped caring about my patients. I was written up, never fired but asked to leave. The “nursing shortage” saved my job(s) many times. (ie:  They wanted to fire me, but it was a Friday [3-11 shift] evening before a holiday weekend and they could never get anybody to work)


To top it off, everyone around me was an asshole.


That’s when one day, a guy, a regular guy, said to me after I stated the above when I was complaining about work…


“Ya know, when everyone around you is an asshole… YOU’RE probably the asshole!” (Truth Slap #1)


AND “You’re not just in the wrong place, you’re doing the wrong thing.


asshole, truth slapped, fun story short game show, nobodys listening show



Change your audience and do what you are naturally good at doing.



And one more thing… Why are you trying to please dead people?” (Truth Slap#2)


This is what I was told by a couple of people in so many words.

I have heard this before. But I didn’t want to listen, really listen to it.

We may want to do things in the memory of people, but not with the guilt and shame I had. My mom would not have wanted me to be miserable. After all she laughed at my jokes and I have some of her sense of humor.


That is what I honor her with now. Not doing something I hate.


I love nurses. I hate nursing, the job, the work, the rules.

I don’t have a warm & fuzzy personality. “Maybe if you stopped eating cheese fries and sitting on your ass for 16 hours a day, you wouldn’t be losing your foot today”, that was my feeling for this patient – not very compassionate, right?

(But deep down, how many of you agree?)


If you don’t have the basic necessary inner skills for the work you choose… then get out! Like for nursing  compassion, caring, hard work are necessary beyond the technical skills you must acquire. But those technical skills can be taught. You can’t teach those inner skills. That’s why I know nursing was NOT my calling, as they say.


I’ll finish this post with one quote my mother always said to me, that her mother always said to her:


“Start out how you want to end up!”


It started as my grandmother wanting to warn my mother about marriage and doing everything. In other words, don’t start cooking 3 course meals every night, folding laundry all the time, or even working like a dog, if you’re not going to do it til the end… because others will expect that of you and resent you when/if you stop.

truth slapped, fun story short, nursing









I didn’t take heed to this advice either.


But now that I’ve gotten “truth-slapped”, not once but twice, I live it everyday and am happier for it.

We (my co-host Tarsha & I) feel so strongly about getting “truth-slapped” that it is one of our categories in our Fun Story Short game.


Also, one of the rules for being a guest/contestant is that you must tell us 2-3 lessons/quotes that you resonate with that changed your thinking, even changed your life – from another business person, guru or coach or family member, etc. – just because you want to thank them.


Those are my 3, what are yours?


Thank you Lisa, David and Mom!


Offered $1000 to find my replacement

About 2 weeks ago I was offered $1000 to find my replacement.

Yep, I was offered the money for “temporary me” to find a “permanent me”.

Oh no, no, no, no, I’m not upset.

It’s what I do.

I Freelance. I get paid through contracts. Big and small for the work I do.

I’m a Freelancer. Side Hustler. Work-from-Homer.

I am NOT an Entrepreneur. (More on that later)

I am also NOT a recruiter. Maybe $1000 isn’t much for you. Maybe you work in the tech industry and you can demand higher rates. All you need is an internet connection and a screen and you’re in business. But for me, in my specialized work, giving ‘temporary me’ incentive to find my replacement, was a plus.

Some of you might do it for nothing. You consider yourself a “connector” and would do it for free. You’re probably not a freelancer and you’re probably in a “stable, secure job”.


Since I was hired to fill in for another Instructor (temporary), I know to always be working on new gigs and how I will get paid in the future. I also work on things I love to do. For example, one of my gigs is teaching Pilates to adults with autism. (one on one, not group)


This client obviously is having a very hard time finding an Instructor in the very specific market. So they have asked me to assist them in their search. (BTW – I do not want the full-time job)

The doctor said this:

“We are desperate. Please help us. I’ll give you $1000. Ask around your circles, ask your friends!”


That’s when I “hit a wall”.


I didn’t have the heart/guts to tell the doctor that “I have no friends”.
Now, don’t feel pity for me. I designed it that way. But I must admit there are days, I regret the design.


[A “friend” to me is someone you can call at 2am or who will lend you $200 or someone I would spend the weekend with.

…Someone who wouldn’t tell anyone about my “little accident” last night.

They typically are NOT co-workers (But they can be. Be careful if you tell too much to co-workers)
They (friends) definitely are NOT people who click a button and connect with on social media. Yes, it’s because my generation did not grow up on computers, it’s hard to change. (When you grow up with something you’re more trusting of it, I get that. But I grew up with “I’ll meet you at such and such a place” and we met face to face or at a minimum phone to phone – talking and finding the words that impressed people.)

I feel just because a computer site tells you how many cyber “friends” you do or don’t have, is not a reason to allow it to determine your emotional state, mood nor validity as a person. It’s about trust, right?

I can like you and you can like me, we’re being polite and interested, there is no reason to be rude, right? But until we TALK to one another, all bets are off you being my friend. So, I have created my own lack of friends (by my own definition).

I think this is why I like to listen to talk radio, it’s live and the emotions/opinions are real from the callers.]


Earning this $1000 finder’s fee will take a little work on my part.


See, my work is quite lonely. When you decide to work like I do, move around from client to client and work from home/computer (most days) and not “stay put” at one place and I know that I actually created some of it, you do not cultivate face-to-face deeper connection with folks.

I may talk to people all day (can you relate) but still feel that I don’t know anybody, really or worse… no one knows me. Not the real me any way.


So, I started to get back into some social networks. Like LinkedIn. My reasons for being on LinkedIn today are different than being on LinkedIn years ago.


Sure collaboration on projects and hearing what’s new with professionals is still the same… but it’s my attitude about who I want to get to know that’s changed. It’s not a specific/type of profession I am looking to connect with. It’s a type of person.

Are you:

  • A freelancer
  • A side hustler
  • A work-from-homer

Do you consider yourself an entrepreneur? Just because I don’t consider myself wwwone, does not mean you don’t. So, if you do, I’ll include you too, what the hell.

  • An entrepreneur


I am looking for the above who want to share their “other” story with us.

“Us” being me and my co-host. We’re so lonely at times it’s crippling. We decided to create a platform, a place for you to tell the “parts” of your story you haven’t really told anybody yet, well anybody you work with or live with because…

… well because you don’t want to seem “certifiable”. (Google it) OR the definition is somewhere on this page.


Especially if you’ve never really talked to anyone about “it” but are secretly learning about “it”, taking courses on “it”, etc. “It” has to get out of your head.



(ie: You’re a professional nurse who loves belly dancing. You want to dance at home parties or even teach other women the art of it. Do you really tell other stuffy, judgmental people around you, people you work with? When? At a staff meeting? During your 20-minute lunch? You’re probably thinking, “who cares?!” Or worse, how many times have you told co-workers that you were, in a sense, “getting out” and yet you still remain or even come back.)



So “it” still burns inside of you. It’s not what you do, it’s who you are. And that “it” may not matter to whom you work with, but it matters to us.


WE WANT TO KNOW! Try to shock us… we dare you!

Tell us. We will not laugh at you. But we will laugh with you. We know all about trying new things and seeking validation.

If you want to see most of the crazy shit I’ve done you can CLICK HERE.  I didn’t include everything – I left out some eye-opening things, like being a masseuse in my 20’s. (I didn’t have any formal training if you know what I mean. Sorry legit massage therapists, a girl, has to make a living.)


We (me and my co-host) want to help you get “it” out of your head and start communicating that part of your fabulous “fun” story to REAL people (us) by using words. Yes, you talking to us. Telling us is a fun way of  expressing your “other” skills that make you who you really are, not necessarily what you get paid for.


What we do is play a game. A game called Fun Story Short.

It’s a segment on the Nobody’s Listening Show.

Is your story dull? Does it read like a chronological list of your life, with all of your accolades and titles… Nice… BUT BORING! Be anything BUT BORING! Let us help you with the “fun part”. You’ll be glad you did and so will those folks you talk to about yourself in the future!


Back to the $1000 and no friends.

I’ve already called someone I met at a conference, not a friend, but a colleague, an acquaintance. I offered her $200 to help me.


She did. I will make $800 and get the gratitude of that client.



What’s a better day than Halloween to introduce to you how you can “be that someone else” even for a little while, while having some fun.

You can be anonymous. You can keep us guessing by your clues or you may just want a release and some validation.

But remember you’re mostly there to help me and my co-host not feel so lonely in our freelance world. Won’t you play along?


We did a “soft launch” last night. No promo. We made a lot of mistakes but that’s O.K. There’s Nobody Listening anyway. Nobody’s fuckin’ listening, so let ‘er rip! That’s the way we like it.




If you want to be a contestant please go to www.funstoryshort.com

Scroll all the way down to the bottom. Entering your info there will NOT automatically put you on my email list.


BUT if you want to watch live or the recordings, for now, you do have to opt-in.

We may post a number for “listen only” mode during the live show, if you don’t care to see us. That link is delivered by email.

Only certain people get to watch.

Are you one of them? I hope so. We hope so.




Calling all (closet) Professional Misfits

Are YOU a Professional Misfit?

OR are you a “closet” professional misfit? In other words you show up a “good professional” on the outside, but on the inside, you fear that you will be “outed”… you, like the rest of us in this select group, are a professional misfit, but don’t want anybody to know.

A professional misfit is simply someone who has had many “professions”. We like to say 3-20 in the last 20 years. You are person who has skills. You’re the “Jack or Jane of all Professions!”

Here’s where we start by asking you…

Have you had 3 or more “professions” in a 3-20+ year period?

Do you have various degrees, certifications, promotions that required you taking some sort of exam and developing professional skills?


What’s a “Professional Misfit”?

For us, a “professional misfit” or “PM” is first a professional, in the way that we studied, worked & earned our credentials, but we are sometimes challenging to work with. People who we work with see us as “trouble makers”, “odd”, “opinionated”, “non-compliant”. We’re basically “unemployable”.


You have a few licenses, certifications, degrees or even experience that you couldn’t pay for. You have had titles galore and have worked within professional ethics of what you are doing… But

You still want to do something else.

Behind that name, beyond the initials, you really want just one thing…

To be noticed…

…for who you are.

Your professions define you, yes they do. Look how much time you spend in your profession(s). Your profession(s) is a part of you. Sure not all of you, but a large part of you. A large part of who you are.

Define your professional self. List your skills. No really! What are you “skilled” at? (Someone would pay you for this skill.)

Have you ever had a job that your weren’t really qualified for, but people thought you were. Or if they didn’t think so, they couldn’t understand how you got “that job”.

Other than the typical, traditional get down on your knees and beg and  %#@!, you got these jobs through skill, luck and perseverence and your’e just good at a lot of shit! We’d sure like to hear some.

Here’s the Professional Misfit brain of my skills. I’ve come out of the closet:


I’ve had 4 professions.And I am proud to be a Professional Misfit! Entertainment/comedy; fitness/exercise; nursing, health educator/speaker.

Professional Misfit, fired, resign, fun story short,

















We are pretty good at something.
Often more than one thing, I’ll get to that later.


Because of this, we get paid pretty good too, a “professional fee”.



BUT – we don’t necessarily like what we’re doing.  So, we get good at something else.  Earn a “professional fee” again, but still don’t like what we’re doing. We try something new, master it, become that professional in it… and we keep on repeating this.


We get asked the question by others, “How’d you get that job or gig?” I got that question a lot with one of the best jobs I ever had in healthcare. This job would never have been in the paper (back then we all read the Sunday help wanted classified on our breaks on our current healthcare job), no this job was gotten on pure guts, charm, some bullshit and some luck.

I’d like to say, with my “Wit, Grit and Bullshit”.


Even though I had the credentials, they weren’t required to get the attention of who hired me. (One day I’ll tell you how I got it. And how I actually, eventually, got tired of “IT” too.)


Often we PM’s “step in shit”, as people say. Which means someone who is “lucky” or “get breaks” all the time. I think we are kind of like Forrest Gump (the movie version).

We are the “Forrest Gump” of professionals.

Are you the “Forrest Gump” of professionals?

Well, it’s nice to connect with you.

Have you seen the movie Forrest Gump? It’s one of my favorite movies. Even though Forrest, played by Tom Hanks, is “slow”, [what my mother would call “dull-normal” (that’s for another blog post)] he has “favor” in his life because he is a simple man, giving man, who simply can’t be pretentious. He was always “stepping in shit”!

A man who has his friend’s back. (even though he only had 3 really good friends & one dies, one hates the world and one he ends up marrying)
A man who keeps his promises.
A man who gives, gives, gives… without even knowing it.
A man who tells it like it is.
A man who actually saw/experienced/appreciated nature’s beauty.
A man who falls in love (for life).

He has all kinds of great jobs and experiences and ends up having the best job in the world… being a dad.

I know Forrest Gump’s actions and decisions influenced some significant historical events in the movie that we may never do.  After all, it is a movie.



Just an analogy I made to better explain a part of being a professional misfit.
The “stepping in shit” part more than anything else.



Go watch the movie.




Still not sure if you’re a professional misfit like us? Here is more clarification for you:  

  • It’s not about having 3 jobs at once or “how many jobs can I have” game. It’s more about, over time, different professions you’ve had. But couldn’t keep.
  • You have had 3 or more major jobs, with substantial training (ie: where internship, degree, license, certification required, years of experience, SKILL required)
  • These jobs can be just 3 years to 20 years in an industry. (What that means is that you could have different jobs, (moving around within your industry) but you are still in the same industry. Or you could have had “professional” jobs in 3 or more different industries like me.)
  • You have been written up or warned
  • You have been fired or asked to resign
  • You couldn’t really handle “clicks” in high school. So at work, you really don’t like it either. You don’t have many or any “friends”  at your job or even in your chosen field (by friend, I mean someone you would spend the weekend with)
  • You’ve been told, on occasion, that you’re “unprofessional”
  • There’s always a mental “deal breaker” you have at a job and you will not waiver – when it’s broken… You quit.
  • Does your story start with “I’ve been a __________________ for 25 years” (fill in the blank) but you’re still trying to figure out what you want to do when you grow up.
  • You have skills. Killer skills. You, for the most part have the “training” of a professional. But you know you can and should apply them (your skills) in another way than intended. Think more about your experiences during the years of study & work to obtain those skills, more than the “paper” you received at the end. 
  • You think you may have adult ADD because you can’t stay at one place very long before you start to get bored or even ill at the current job.
  • You know it’s you who’s the “odd ball”, “trouble maker”, “question asker” and not the other folks you work with. You can’t fight “City Hall” is the feeling you have when leaving your past jobs.
  • You have taken on another personality or developed (like I have) a “persona” to get through work. No, you don’t need medication. You are actively, consciously acting like someone else (a slightly twisted version of yourself) to get through what you are doing.

Yes? To most of the above? Can you identify with the above statements?

Then you probably are a Professional Misfit. Is your story boring or like a list. Want a robust tale to pull form when in public. Tell us your story and for goodness sakes, “Know Thy Fun Self”!


How would Creating a Fun Story Short help you?

You surely know all the negative things to tell folks you meet in a moment’s time. But is that what you want? No!

Because of all your “professional” training and work, you have a “LONG story short” in the middle of your tale. Don’t you?  It’s almost impossible to tell that nice, handsome man you just were introduced to, everything wonderful and intriguing about your life, over champagne and salmon at a wedding reception…


You literally bumped into your mentor in line at the airport. She’s in first class, you’re not, so you better think fast!

With a memorized “Fun Story Short” you have the answers to 6 basic areas of fun conversation. (Based on your story)


Be ready. It’s called “canned charisma” in a sense. People think that exciting, fun people are natural. A few maybe are, but most “practice” officially and unofficially at being charismatic and fun. (some, like me, may even become someone else, a slightly different character than themselves)



I recommend that you write over a weekend YOUR story. Yes, it may start out looking chronological at first. You may even need your resume or CV to help you. That’s O.K. Just start and keep writing.



I managed to write about 3 pages of my story. Considering my age and all the shit I’ve done, 3 pages is a “short” story. You probably will feel the same way too.


Then NAME your story. Yes, give it a name.  Mine is “10 Years A Zombie”. (tab is above too)


From there I condensed it. Twice.  I create a few paragraphs, that I manipulate, depending on the situation (formal introduction at a speaking event, around the table introduction, “let’s everyone tell a little about themselves”, small talk at a convention, or trying to get to know someone at a bar, etc.) I just have to remember these few paragraphs and elaborate a couple of points.



Then I found the “common denominator” in all I do well for people.  You should look through all that you wrote and think about how you like to feel. AND how you like to make others feel. What do people say about you? And what you do well for them? Really think. It may have nothing to do with school, degrees nor licenses… but it’s the icing on your cake. It’s what makes you tick. Think about ALL your professions, even the ones that you hated.


It is so freeing.


My common denominator – is laughter and trimming people down. I do it naturally. I think about trimming down in some way every day and every day I make sure laugh!




For example in real life:


Just this morning, I had 4 people surrounding me laughing & listening to part of my story involving how I will never have my thighs rubbing together again. (I was at a dog beach, so my thighs were noticeable.) Yes, this is part of my story, not how I graduated with a 3.9 cumulative average from college. Probably ’cause I graduated with a 2.3 cum. Hey, I graduated, I even earned a scholarship… athletic.


Point is, unless that 3.9 translates into something fun, light-hearted or intruiging, nobody cares. Well, if you’re going to grad school, etc., there may be a few folks who care.  But to those of you who are beyond that, focus on your fun, even odd experiences and how they can make people feel better about themselves.

Make people smile. 🙂


Welcome to The Nobody’s Listening Show. We are Professional Misfits too!

Be a contestant on our new game show Fun Story Short More information too.

Menopause Afro

What “Menopause Afro” means to Minky:

My hair looks like the tops of the trees blowing in the summer wind…




Today, I’m at a time and place in my life when I can say, thank God for my curly hair!!! I used to didn’t like my curly hair. It was too hard to manage. I did everything to straighten it. Hot combs, relaxers, blow outs, curling irons, etc. Today I am thankful for it… my curly hair, naturally curly hair.


When your hair starts thinning… Like mine did…


Natural never felt so good…





Menopause Afro, naturally curly hair, fun story short










I didn’t have locks of hair to start with or ever…



So, over a year or so period, I let my  naturally curly hair grow in and had to

“chop” part of other parts of my hair because of hair breakage and uneveness from previous relaxers… you know what I mean…



Some people aren’t there yet. And they buy their hair. Good for them.



Maybe in the future, I’ll buy some hair. It always comes down to finances and priorities, right.  AND motivation.



I know people who won’t pay a utility bill because they have to get their hair done. Finances and priorities. The motivation being getting what you want. You WANT hair, nice hair, first and foremost.



I, my friend, can cover my thinning hair with my natural curls for free and, this is a “BIG AND”… my hair is actually growing back better with these natural products I have been using.  No more breakage! I love it!



Just a moment of “no shame” here.

Hey, do what you want that makes you feel attractive… just don’t get upset if other people don’t like it…

Do what makes you feel good.





You know I get all the exterior beauty shit. I still and probably always will wear some kind of makeup when leaving the house.



Here’s a quick story >>> Fun Story Short >>>



I was in a beauty pageant in New Jersey.



The Mrs. N.J. Pageant 




Talk about epitome of shallowness and “beauty is skin deep” at it’s finest amongst Jersey’s finest married women. Look, I just did it cause I could.



No, I didn’t win. But I didn’t get last either.



(One day I’ll tell you about the “Mrs. Congeniality” story. Remind me.)



Learned a lot about body parts and creating illusions and deception.



But they were all pretty cool with me because they knew

I had no chance of winning.



Seeing them in action was priceless.



I still have my contestant/pageant photos.



…And my divorce decree. (A Mrs. NJ Pageant)



Nothing lasts forever…

It’s things don’t move and change they die.



So let’s celebrate something about our ever changing body…


Mine is… “Menopause Afro”



… And it is a metaphor for contestants, you (on the Fun Story Short game show) that represents something that’s changed on your body (outside) that you’ve come to accept and found some good use for it over time. We want you to name it/own it.



There’s my above story as an example,

but other examples of a fun telling story could be:



The tramp stamp you got in 2004, becomes part of a story. It’s something you did on a dare when you first tried tequila shots… (Did you just hear? The agave in tequila is good for your bones!)




How the sound/stiffness of your joints & bones from running, playing sports, etc., make you a better weather man than your local meteorologist.


One more…


You had to go to the emergency room because the large pin you use to close your fancy pants together, just popped open after you sat down after eating lunch and jabbed you in your menopause gut! You now see blood and are now feeling faint.

After awakening in the E.R. with no pants on…


… You will only wear stretch yoga pants from now on.



OR you could resolve to lose weight for GOOD (again) & fitting into the clothes you already have and never have to wear a “pin” to hold you pants together again!




Or you could just wear the stretch yoga pants forever.

Yoga pants are quite versatile!


Whatever your choice we’re here to help you turn that frown upside down by you finding and being thankful for your “menopause afro”! (Men can have a “menopause afro” too! Should I dare say it?… MANopause. Ugh.)


So remember, “menopause afro” is a metaphor for that “change in your body” that first you regretted but now you are thankful for.





Menopause Afro is going to be one (1)  of six (6) categories in the Fun Story Short game show.



Were still putting it all together. Your welcome to eavesdrop in on The Nobody’s Listening Show for our creation & planning sessions of the game show.



Mondays, 8:30pm EST.

Must be on my email list to get the live link.


Jack of All Trades, Master of What?

Remember the saying, “Jack of all trades, master of none”.


Of course you have.


I never liked that saying because it hit too close to home.



Jack of All Trades, Fun Story Short, Nobody's Listening Show












Even in my college years (a long time ago, the 80’s), I did so many things at once. I was on an Athletic Training scholarship, (traveled with athletic teams, division 1, I might add). I did stand-up comedy at local comedy clubs. I competed in women’s bodybuilding competitions, when to school full time and worked at various odd jobs.



So I was good at fixing situations when people got physically hurt, under pressure to win, a war zone, especially lacrosse games!



I made people laugh.



I worked out hard and dieted like you don’t want to know, (experienced dieter & knew how to build muscle). I was a mediocre student “B- or C+”.



And I learned how to sell… some.



I was told back then by people I “worked for” , “You’re kind of a ‘Jack of All Trades’ aren’t you?”



How about you? Did you start off your “work life” with doing many things? Some things you, of course, did better than others. But all of them were good enough, even better than good enough, to get paid and get recognition for your work. Yet, you never just did one thing nor just got paid for one thing.



See, I’m not talking about hobbies.



Hobbies don’t pay the rent/mortgage and other bills.



These were jobs that you had to have some skill at doing. You had and still do have numerous skills. You may even have more initials than your name itself. You should be proud, but why aren’t you as happy as you thought you’d be?



Like me, you could never work for one company for 20, even 30 years. I know those days are gone today, but if you’re near my age or older, you know what I mean.



We were considered job-hoppers.



Like homeless without a home. The “job” defined you. So if you weren’t at a place of employment for a while, you were considered “high-risk”.



But now, you’re done. You really want to find what you’re really good at and try to get paid for what that is. It’s something that comes out naturally in everything you do. Something you know so well, you don’t have to practice. This is should be what you’re charging for in your world of “skills” and what you have “mastered”. It’s not necessarily connected to you initials, but maybe.



In my fun story short, I write about my last 10 years living as a zombie. 10 years since my mom died suddenly on a treadmill. And all the “gigs” I had since then that were so stressful, I hated and wasn’t alive really. For 10 years.



My mom used to always say, “Lori, you’re like manure in a garden… you’re spread out every where. People smell the surface shit and you get their attention. They come to ignore the strong scent and appreciate what you do and then the beautiful outcome.”


What you have to do first is look at what is/was the common denominator in all the work you do. Surprisingly, it’s often where you don’t have extensive training. It’s something you’ve done all of you life, but have suppressed it because it wasn’t realistic or you’re afraid to tell anybody in the “teacher’s lounge” about it.  “You want to do what? That’s heresy!”


You can’t take the randomness of working at different places and creating different titles anymore.



(Do you know at one point I had 6 CV’s (Curriculum Vitae) that I used, to get certain, specific jobs.)


What am I good at? Apparently getting jobs. People would say to me, “How’d you get THAT job?!”



I would just smile. Because there was always “a story” how I got it. That’s for another post.



Getting a job to me is like losing weight. Losing the weight (getting the job) part is not that difficult. You probably have lost many, many pounds in your life time. Keeping it off (keeping the job, like making it my career) was always the hard part.


(And I don’t have adult A.D.D., O.K.? I can sit in a lounge chair for hours and do nothing too.)



Are you seeing what I’m good at doing? My common denominator in all my positions? From stand-up comedy to competitive body building to health/fitness education & professional nursing in my community. I did one thing all my life that people seemed to enjoy.


I told stories. I made people laugh.



Yes, I’m a “Jack of All Trades” and Master of none Story telling.



That’s all.

Time to pull it all together. Takes courage for sure.



What about you? What are you really the Master of? Are you ready to find your common denominator & get your story straight?



When you are congruent with who you are, how you feel and the actions you take – you are worth a million bucks!!!




Step from behind the initials

Step from behind the initials… please.

I always found initials confusing.

Maybe because I made many up, coming along.

I guess you could say I have a lack of respect for them (as a whole). But of course not when they matter for your life. Like being a Medical Doctor (MD) or a Lawyer (JD/Esq) or a Registered Nurse (RN).

The public, we want to know who we are trusting with our body, our money, our loved ones, etc.

initials, credentials, fun story short









Sure training and education matter, but when does it become like a “pissing contest”. Who can pee the furthest? Can I do it? Can I “pee” here?

I can pee better than you. See…

And when does it (all the initials that you lead with) become almost scary to those we are trying to reach and connect with. If you want to “live” in a place where the more initials the better, great – you will be known for that in that world of “my initials define me”, but no one really cares outside of that world.

Is it validation you want the most, because we all want that.

For me though, I’d rather be validated for everything before the initials, not after my name. That’s were the transparency and authenticity lies, before the initials. At one point I had 11 certifications, (all expired today), still have 2 college degrees and a license. But I don’t talk about them unless they are in my act somehow and connect to a joke.


Are you hiding behind yours? Is there something you want to do or say that has nothing to do with your initials?


You should visit that place once in a while. That place were initials are gone and the “real” you shines and connects with others who want to know the person behind the initials.


Yes, you should be proud of your accomplishments, but just remember people “buy YOU” (and buy into YOUR advice) not your initials when it comes to liking, knowing & ultimately trusting you.


I can’t help myself –  Jane Smith, CD, POI, OIC, OAB, IBS, OMG, WTF, LOL


(Compact Disc, Person of Interest, Opioid Induced Constipation, OverActive Bladder, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Oh My God, What the Fuck, Laugh Out Loud) 🙂  🙂  🙂


3-Day Soup Detox and FUPWA Grab

Have you ever done a detox?

Sure you have.

What about with homemade soup? Your homemade soup.

This is what Natalie and I talk about in the last episode of the Nobody’s Listening Show.

Nat talks about how some women lost up to 5 lbs. in a day. But best of all, these women learn how to make something from scratch, call it theirs and be proud contributors to their own weight loss and health. There’s something real “feel good” about making and eating homemade soup, your homemade soup with all the ingredients to like and still lose weight fast!

In case you missed it here’s the link:

Yep, I went there. I had to start talking about the FUPWA. It’s bothers me almost as much as my thighs rubbing together.

What’s a FUPWA? (NOT FUPA)

Fat Underlying Pussy Willow Attachment.

I don’t see too many of these trees today, but I grew up around pussy willow trees. I used to put them in vases when I was a “housewife and young mother” and remarks were always made about, the “pussy willow” fur on the tree branches.

FUPWA, pussy willow, Hunger PangPang Diet, Nobodys Listening SHow



So I include the “willow” part as it relates to the hair women may have (some get rid of it) down below. Especially if you have a 1970’s bush down there.

This “willow” can add to the stuff that bulges out in the front of your crotch. You may “look like a dude” in your crotch area in certain clothes and positions.

Remember, “Can you pinch an inch?” from the “Special K” cereal ads?

Well, my question is “Can you pinch your FUPWA?” or rather, “Can you GRAB your FUPWA?” NOT grab your pussy like Trump did, but grab the front of your crotch area, the “mound” area. Need a visual? See photo below:

FUPWA grab, pussy grab, Fix The FUPWA





It’s an area of the body that’s like the bra strap area in your upper body, it’s very challenging to get rid of the excess. Diet is very important here yes, but so are some very specific exercises and when to exercise.

More to come. (also I help men be “done with the Dicky-Do” too) More on that later too.


The bad news to all of this is that if you have more than 30 or so lbs. to lose (30 lbs. is still a lot of weight), you probably won’t see the FUPWA go away until you get down closer to your “ideal” weight.

A couple of these exercises are in the new & revised Hunger PangPang Diet Start-up Check list. Get that by clicking the Hunger PangPang tab above.

Catch me, Minky with Cuzin Sherri – Monday, 3/13/17 on the Nobody’s Listening Show. We always talk fat pugs, but tonite we’ll also talk about being ignored once you turn a specific age, my 2 elixirs I take daily, eating tuna and being personally free, of course.

Ever feel ignored, dissed, looked over, disrespected? Especially when it comes to your ideas and when trying to get help to lose weight & exercise? Well, why not eaves drop on us? We listen to each other.

Every Monday, 8:30pm EST. 1(425) 440-5100; code:  529861#

How to get kicked out of a Facebook Group quickly

How many Facebook (FB) groups are you in?

No, I mean really are involved with? 1, 2 or more? Well up until recently I was involved in 3 groups. Now only 2.

After the Superbowl, things got a little slow, so I decided to become more active in all 3 groups at the same time.





Group #1 is a “killer group”. The administrator’s attitude is “bring it!” The rules… he has none. People in the group know common courtesy and are not so thin-skinned that you have to worry about stating criticism(s) and/or giving some one a “kick in the ass” motivation rant. I really am loving this group. It’s mostly fitness professionals, but all kind of business folks there. Strong, knowledgeable, “I want to help you succeed” folks. I just had a thread going with a male member about having “balls” in marketing. We weren’t always in agreement, but we respected each other’s voice and are now “friends” on FB.

He openly stated the name of his company/business, so that would be a promotion, everybody congratulated him on him success, they weren’t threatened by it. (And it had the abbreviated word f*ck in the title, so it’s not for everybody’s taste… and that’s what makes the group more than great!)




Group#2 is a fine group. There are some rules and I feel kind of like I have to walk on “egg shells” some because some of the members (even though they are business folks) are a little too sensitive for my taste. But not all of them.

I test the group by adding a comment related to the post and try to follow the instructions and then see how I am perceived or responded to at all. There are repetitive posts and in my opinion, the administrator doesn’t get into the groups pain as much as she should. She plays it safe. I know it’s a double-edge sword. Diving into people’s pain can come off as “salesy” or “not caring”; but at the same time, you will never fully, deeply connect with people either if you don’t use it. This connection is what makes them ACT! When I posted to this group, I stayed on the topic and posted where I should. I even asked a question. Not much interaction. O.K. I wonder how many of the people in this group belong to other groups just to “belong”.

Belonging to more than 2 FB groups is a waste of time.




Group #3 is was a fine group. Yep, this is the group I was kicked out of. I hadn’t posted in this group, I think ever. I wanted to become more involved here too. Well this FB group was a fitness group for women over a certain age. My age, so I joined.

The mistake I made was to offer my opinion to a fellow member asking for advice:




FB group fitness comment








(Insert my fav Andy Rooney quote, “Only give advice in 2 situations, one – when it’s life or death or two –  when it’s asked for.”) I believe it was “asked for”…





Here’s my response:

FB group fitness response









We went on

FB Fitness Group response











Given my history, I even thought I’d give my 2-cents on Diastasis Recti:


FB fitness group, diactasis recti









And this is what I got for my troubles:

FB fitness group, administrators response







Why didn’t she give her some “real” advice?


Instead she showed insecurity, that she doesn’t know everything and never learned that the principles of diet, fitness and weight loss have always been the same. (What changes are hormonal involvement, age and mental capacity) I know this because it is acquired in years, beyond more than a weekend certification and a couple of Shape magazines.


Hey it’s her group right? If I want to do things my way, then why don’t I start my own damn group?! Right?




Well, I will. I have learned from these 3 FB group administrators. And I will not have a sanctimonious attitude, “I’m over 50 with a weekend certification, (but I have thousands of Twitter followers, which validates me) I eat and exercise this boring way, I look great, so do what I do because my shit is factual.”

Gimme a break. (BTW, I am jealous of all the Twitter followers 🙂 )



But my membership club will be a group for all those who believe in personal freedom in diet and weight loss. You must relate to your own personal plan and who is helping you too or you will NOT be successful long term. Aren’t you tired of being ignored, feeling dissed, not listened to and NOT given “real” advice when asked for it.



Get the respect you deserve!!!



My exciting group will also be a membership group that you pay for. Yep, only about $25.00 a month membership. I’ve got a lot of work to do! But it WILL be fun and not like an ordinary FB fitness group that only promotes the administrator’s lame weight loss plan and where no one can offer any advice. Yes, doing Zumba 2X a week and lifting weights 2X to build your midsection and increase those thunder thighs when you’re not happy with it, you dread it, doesn’t make you feel good AND not the results you want, is lame. Especially lame if you sit all day and think/believe that this exercising compensates for the  cumulative effect of 12 hours of sitting day after day.




To begin to turn all that around you need/deserve a personal freedom plan.

Start with relating to what you like to do and be around. It could be solitude. Start with relating then build on that.  Do you even relate to the person’s philosophy on how to lose weight? Do you even know what it is? You should.



I will only invite folks from my very small list and listeners of the Nobody’s Listening Show.  Join the list above right and get my personal freedom diet, The Hunger PangPang Diet. More information about the membership group to follow!

Nat and Minky co-host the Nobody’s Listening Show from last week’s show 2/6/17. We definitely jumped on this “FB group booted out thing”.

If you want to listen to a conversation about this do so here:



Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Minky, Hunger PangPang Diet, personal freedom diet