5 Professional Misfits from the Nobody's Listening Show host a game show "FUN STORY SHORT" for professionals with a grand story to tell, something passionate to sell… in a short amount of time!

Write/call The NLS to be a contestant! MONDAYS – 8:30pm EST – (425) 440-5100, code: 529861#

3-Day Soup Detox and FUPWA Grab

Have you ever done a detox?

Sure you have.

What about with homemade soup? Your homemade soup.

This is what Natalie and I talk about in the last episode of the Nobody’s Listening Show.

Nat talks about how some women lost up to 5 lbs. in a day. But best of all, these women learn how to make something from scratch, call it theirs and be proud contributors to their own weight loss and health. There’s something real “feel good” about making and eating homemade soup, your homemade soup with all the ingredients to like and still lose weight fast!

In case you missed it here’s the link:

Yep, I went there. I had to start talking about the FUPWA. It’s bothers me almost as much as my thighs rubbing together.

What’s a FUPWA? (NOT FUPA)

Fat Underlying Pussy Willow Attachment.

I don’t see too many of these trees today, but I grew up around pussy willow trees. I used to put them in vases when I was a “housewife and young mother” and remarks were always made about, the “pussy willow” fur on the tree branches.

FUPWA, pussy willow, Hunger PangPang Diet, Nobodys Listening SHow

 

 

So I include the “willow” part as it relates to the hair women may have (some get rid of it) down below. Especially if you have a 1970’s bush down there.

This “willow” can add to the stuff that bulges out in the front of your crotch. You may “look like a dude” in your crotch area in certain clothes and positions.

Remember, “Can you pinch an inch?” from the “Special K” cereal ads?

Well, my question is “Can you pinch your FUPWA?” or rather, “Can you GRAB your FUPWA?” NOT grab your pussy like Trump did, but grab the front of your crotch area, the “mound” area. Need a visual? See photo below:

FUPWA grab, pussy grab, Fix The FUPWA

 

 

 

 

It’s an area of the body that’s like the bra strap area in your upper body, it’s very challenging to get rid of the excess. Diet is very important here yes, but so are some very specific exercises and when to exercise.

More to come. (also I help men be “done with the Dicky-Do” too) More on that later too.

 

The bad news to all of this is that if you have more than 30 or so lbs. to lose (30 lbs. is still a lot of weight), you probably won’t see the FUPWA go away until you get down closer to your “ideal” weight.

A couple of these exercises are in the new & revised Hunger PangPang Diet Start-up Check list. Get that by clicking the Hunger PangPang tab above.

Catch me, Minky with Cuzin Sherri – Monday, 3/13/17 on the Nobody’s Listening Show. We always talk fat pugs, but tonite we’ll also talk about being ignored once you turn a specific age, my 2 elixirs I take daily, eating tuna and being personally free, of course.

Ever feel ignored, dissed, looked over, disrespected? Especially when it comes to your ideas and when trying to get help to lose weight & exercise? Well, why not eaves drop on us? We listen to each other.

Every Monday, 8:30pm EST. 1(425) 440-5100; code:  529861#

The Unprofessional.me

The Unprofessional.me

I’ve been called a lot of things while working in the career I chose for the past (?) years.  I often wonder, “Why am I even on Linked-In anymore?” I can’t help myself.

 

 

 

Haven’t you heard about the lap top entrepreneur bed bug, called “Illdoanythingtonotgotothisdamnjobtoday” parasite.

 

 

 

It (the parasitic bug) comes out and bites you at night and sucks the mundane life out of you, while sleeping (but not soundly because of your stressful work) & you’re on the verge of night terrors right before the alarm goes off. You know in your heart that you really can’t stand what you’re currently doing and you have to stop or your actions are going end you up in court or worse.

 

 

Well anyway, the bug bit me. Now that I have this “I need to be free” condition, it has consumed me. My mundane, zombie-like life must end. I’m alive and free to be myself. AND – So, I authentically can’t be on Linked-In. I simply am not “professional” in this emergent state of personal freedom.

 
(So, is there really a point in writing in how many years I’ve worked in an industry? No one really cares. As soon as you hear or read, “I’ve been a ______ for 15, 20, 30 years”, you know it’s going to be something boring coming next or something with so much professional jargon, you wonder how it is relevant to you.

Too bad, ’cause now that I’m older, I feel that my years of work and life don’t matter either. My 18-25 y.o. students sure don’t get my stories/jokes any more. They think I’m crazy ’cause I laugh at my own jokes. I don’t give a fuck anymore. I value myself and respect other people for valuing their self.)

 

 

 

 

So now, finally, I am going to listen to people who repeatedly said things over the years to let me know.

 

Then, it also hit me, finally, I realized I was wrong in thinking it was them who were f*cked up, then I realized, Hey, it’s really me. It’s NOT them. Damn.

Here are some comments made to me over the years:

  1. “Nice smile”
  2. “You said… you do what?”
  3. “That’s so unprofessional”
  4. “That’s disturbing”
  5. “You don’t know how to talk to people”
  6. “You’re too funny (and bad), you’re in the wrong profession!”
  7. “You should get out before you kill somebody”
  8. “If you want ‘personal freedom’ why are you working here and doing this?”
  9. “How did you get that job?!”

 

Besides the “nice smile” comments, many people knew that I didn’t belong in that profession. Especially those folks I worked with directly. Should I apologize for my lack of professionalism because I was in the wrong profession?

 

 

O.K. I’m sorry. Well, not really…

 

 

I remember watching a late, late night comedy special called, “Comics Unleashed” with host, Byron Allen one night and a comic on the show was asked a question by the host.

 

 

Byron Allen:  So (I forget the comic’s name), I hear you used to be a nurse. Why did you stop nursing and become a comedian?
Comedian:  I guess I stopped caring about my patients.  (There was laughter…)

 

 

When I heard that, I immediately had a rush of warmth through my veins and I perked up and said, “That’s me! That’s exactly how I feel!”  I wanted to kiss this man/comedian through the t.v. I thought… he did it, why can’t I?

 

========================

 

I can listen to this You Tube video and piece from HBO with Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Louis CK, and Ricky Gervais, again and again. But that would be it. 2 or 3 times is enough. Clearly though in my very busy life, if I have time to watch this hour piece 3 times it’s better than good!

Here it is, if you want to “get” me…

 

I feel so at home with these men. I am not offended in the least. I miss Joan Rivers. She was never offended, really.

 

Anyway my phone friendly landing page is below, there’s more info there and easier to read to…

 

I can: www.nobodyslistening.wtf   (Visit to see what’s up now!)

 

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Back to my story…

 

Why can’t I just stop doing what I don’t like and do what I originally did right out of college 30 years ago. That’s right I did stand-up comedy in the 1980’s.
No political correctness. No guilt. No shame. Just laughs and of course, hecklers.

 

Today my jokes from the 80’s won’t work so good. But I notice I still make people laugh or they get offended. In comedy, that’s not so bad. My humor and jokes/stories definitely work best for older folks and those people who have opinions and aren’t afraid to express them. People who have “a set” and have lived a little. I often will use self-deprecating humor too, to show I’m fucked-up like most people represented in my jokes.

Growacet, for those easily offended or can't take a joke, unprofessional.me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am getting out and moving on. I’m looking forward to going back to my original love… comedy. Doing it and writing it. And making a change.

 

 

This time around however, I am seated at the mic; not standing. So I created a heretical, comical persona, Minky, and call myself a sit down comedian.
A heretic is one with an unorthodox opinion.

Some of Minky’s heretical opinions:

  • I am a proud UN-hyphenated American & support Libertarian values
  • Candy ruins your appetite. Exactly!
  • Don’t exercise to lose weight (DE2LW) (Exercise for any other reason, except that!)
  • Show me how to lose weight in my world; not yours.
  • With relationships, start out how you want to end up. (Another way of saying, “don’t start something you can’t finish”)
  • I LOVE the game of football. (No, not just a fan of a particular team, a winning team, or the “Super Bowl”, but I know & love the actual game. All levels – Pee wee, High School, College, etc. Will you watch any football game during “Game of Thrones”? How about during “The Bachelor”? or do you follow the NFL & ESPN on Twitter? Right… that’s what I thought) Other ladies who love the game, know what I mean!
  • My motto, “The only thing low-fat in my kitchen is ME!”
  • You’re NOT a “Jeep kind of a gal”, if you can’t drive a stick shift.
  • Kids are germ magnets. (I don’t like kids)
  • I LOVE licorice! Red & Black.
  • Balance, “life balance” is bunk. Counter-balancing is what we do best.
  • I yearn for “Personal Freedom“. It has to be in everything I do… Including the diet I choose to eat and the exercise I choose to do. (My personal freedom diet is called, the Hunger PangPang Diet. Get yours!)
  • No apologies when not necessary.
  • Nobody cares that you’ve worked somewhere 30 years. Getting old and  being experienced is NOT valued by others, so value yourself. Don’t rely on others for value. Today if you have lots of “likes” and “followers”, yet don’t know your ass from your mouth, some people feel validated. (flea market mentality, I get it though)
  • Know yourself. Be yourself. Love yourself.
  • There are no healthy people. Just people trying to get healthier.
  • I can’t stand it when folks want diversity; yet at the same time, they want “sameness” and not to be seen as different.
  • There is a time to be serious; but most times not.
  • Do need to exercise to build your thighs. (If you want thunder thighs. Thunder Thighs look good on some people, like “the Rock”, a young Arnold Schwarzenegger, even Serena Williams. But not on me.)
  • No exercise on Mondays.
  • Everybody judges. Yes – even you. So get over it. As soon as you say, “I don’t judge.” I know that you most certainly do. If it makes you feel any better, call it “discernment”. It’s normal. It’s human nature. It’s self-preservation. If you want to quote the Bible, do me a favor and quote the whole “judgement quote”, not just the first part that makes you feel “holier” than thou.
  • Regardless of their political views – I LOVE the Jerry Springer show, Snoop Dogg, Ice-T, Ice Cube, Lady GaGa, Martha Stewart & Vanna White
  • Transferring job skills don’t always work. Just because you can get someone to get out of bed after surgery (in your comfort zone), does NOT mean you can sell a coaching program for $497 over the phone or in person over someone’s kitchen table (not in your comfort zone) It’s again all about you and how you feel about your ability to share your passion and make an offer. Selling takes practice, rejection, risk and more practice.
  • “Incongruency” (not being aligned with who you are and your beliefs) stresses you more than you will ever know.
  • Can’t burn fat on your ass, when you have food in your stomach.
  • You have to enjoy laughing. Or you can’t be around me.
  • People eat too fucking much.
  • You can instantly improve you face… smile. (fake it if necessary)
  • “I have an ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude. I’m NOT indifferent, on the contrary, I am comfortable with being different. ‘Shrugging your shoulders’ is indifferent. Staring failure in the face and showing it your middle finger back at it is saying, ‘I don’t give a fuck!’. Is being different.”**
  • I love Pilates because of how it makes me feel. If you want to learn beginning Pilates exercises, I’ll help you. For free. (that’s heretical)
  • Many times I like dogs better than people. They are loyal and sincere. And they don’t care that you blame them for farting.
  • Even though I don’t like kids, laughing babies are hilarious to me!
  • And in the spirit of TRUE HERESY…
    I am Black AND I support Trump. I’ve always liked Donald Trump. Here at the Jersey Shore (NYC tv Stations), Donald Trump has always been in the news. No surprises here. Let the reality show begin.

 

More on MINKY, my persona CLICK HERE

 

If these opinions make me “unprofessional” then that’s what I am, I guess.  Like I asked early in this post, “Why am I still on Linked-In?” I purposely will NOT post this piece on that “professional” site. So if it makes it’s way there, it wasn’t by me, the author. Hey Linked-In/Social Media police … You can’t control Social Media!

Here’s some of my heretical articles I keep and refer to often:

 

I’m an UNprofessional and proud of it!

www.nobodyslistening.wtf

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The Nobody’s Listening Show starts Monday, January 9th, 2017, at 8:30pm EST. My first co-host is Nat, The exercise expert.

Call in and eavesdrop at:

(425) 440-5100; code: 529861#

See ALL NLS Recordings under Blogroll. 

I hope you’ll eavesdrop on us!

 

 

 

Minky

Pesticidian or Pescatarian

Welcome!

 

Here’s the replay/download on the web:

http://events.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=89705037

Fun banter about being a pesticidian or pescatarian or an omnivore and fat pugs too.

 

 

We couldn’t remember the name of people who eat a lot of fish and vegetables. Now we know it’s a PESCATARIAN – not a Pesticidian. Here’s our fun conversation about the two:

Enjoy!

 

Do you feel that your life is a sloppy, unfocused mess? Do you have grown children or no children and your fat pug/dog is your child now? Want to take control over your weight for good?!

 

Please listen in on Mondays. 8:30pm EST.

(425) 440-5100, code: 529861#

 

 

Minky

 

C.C.R.A.N. and the end of the weight gain-diet rollercoaster

C.C.R.A.N. and the end of the weight gain / diet rollercoaster

 

fruit.cake

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was at a graduation party this past weekend and I didn’t eat much. So when it was announced that the “desserts” were ready… I just had to look.

 

I had no guilt about having a piece or two of different desserts from this smorgasboard of 12 types of desserts.

 

As I get my piece of cheesecake, the man standing next to me goes for the fresh fruit. I said, “Wow there’s a lot to choose from”.

 

He said, “Yeah, but I have to refrain. I’m on what’s called the ‘Paleo Diet’, ever heard of it? And I can only have fruit, no cakes, pies, cookies, brownies, etc…”

 

I didn’t have the heart to tell him, I was on it (Paleo Diet) about 7 years ago.  I just said, “Yeah, I guess there were no funnel cakes or cheesecake in Paleolithic time…”

 

What happened next is what makes me crazy…

 

He preceded to proudly load up his plate/large bowl with about 4 or 5 ladel size spoonfuls of fruit, I kid you not. (Don’t get me wrong fresh fruit is great. And I realize that for some people if they have just a bite of chocolate cake… it’s like their “food crack” and it’s all over. All kinds of hormones surge and they can’t stop until they have cake coming out of their ears.
But that’s precisely my point… don’t you want control over that? How long can you keep eating fresh fruit instead of a taste of chocolate cake?
)

 

All I could think when he was loading his plate of with a bowling ball size of fruit was, for goodness sake, why don’t you just have a cookie or a scoop of ice cream.

 

I try to imagine how big his stomach had to expand to accommodate all that fruit. Nevermind what he had already ate for dinner.

 

He had no idea of his calorie intake or even cared for that matter.

 

All that mattered was that he was on “The Paleo Diet” and all he could eat from the dessert table was fruit. But did he have to eat all of it?

 

I wonder how long he will last on this diet because if he’s taking in more calories than he burns, it doesn’t matter what diet he’s on… he won’t lose weight… right?!

 

Then it’s bye, bye diet.

 

Hello weight gain.

 

The dreaded diet rollercoaster.

 

That’s why I LOVE C.C.R.A.N. (Calorie Cycling & Restriction Adequate Nutrition)

 

It doesn’t feel like a diet. It’s a combination of restricting calories, I like to call it “intermittent eating”, and just when I start to feel like the restriction is effecting my daily duties (like no energy to exercise, mentally not focusing, tiredness and irritability), I cycle my calories and eat more. I eat what I want. But that doesn’t mean I eat like it’s my last meal either. I know my body.

 

The food is usually adequately nourishing. Sometimes it’s very healthy and other times it’s shit. But I am never gluttonous.

 

I managed to keep my 30lb. weightloss off for over a year now (after years of being up and down on the weight gain / diet rollercoaster) AND I never feel like I am on a diet! WOOHOO!
(You can check out my weight gain and weight loss pics HERE.)

 

You can do this too. You need a lifestyle eating/exercise plan for you… NOT just a diet. We can help you discover your “diet lifestyle/exercise plan”.

 

CCRAN is a lifestyle.

 

Paleo Diet is a temporary diet (for most people).

 

They can’t wait to have pancakes or pasta!!!

 

I also have a secret weapon.
You have to find yours. For some it’s a personal trainer or surgery or a competition or a pill or prayer.  This is very personal and I believe we all need some help, especially in the beginning of doing something.

 

Now you may have started and lost and gained many pounds on diets before (in my case up to 30lbs.), but I want you to look at this as something new to you, your new beginning, in that your intention is to lose up to 30lbs. and KEEP IT OFF! That’s it.

 

You’re learning how to keep it off, before you actually lose it.

 

Crazy, I know.

 

Get off that weight gain – diet rollercoaster and check out how to become a CCRANNY by CLICKING HERE.

 

Later,

minkylogonohot.header

 

 

 

(Minky, Your 30lb. Weightloss Coach) 

Think Inside YOUR Box Is Better Advice

Ever heard the saying,

“Think Outside the Box”? Of course you have.

But what if this is all wrong and you should do the opposite yet add something very effective. In other words, “Think Inside YOUR Box”… and Grow It!

 

think.insidebox

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

According to Harry Beckwith, author of You, Inc., you don’t need to “think outside the box”.

Mr. Beckwith says that the message doesn’t work because the box, your box really, is your way of thinking, working and living and in many cases has worked for you. He says it is the box in which you were born. And you can’t change your box; it’s like changing the shape of your head.

Your box describes you and your uniqueness and it’s what you’ve been operating out of for years.

So, don’t try to think out of your box; it’s too hard. He says instead, grow it.

In other words try new things, bring new things into the box, experiment for sure, but don’t try to be someone or something you’re just not.

Don’t change your thinking; change your box by bringing in new things to it.

Grow a bigger box. (p. 49, You, Inc., Harry Beckwith)

This happened to me just last week. I was asked to participate in a tele-summit, my first one. When I saw the title and all the different kind of speakers, I thought as long as I’m able to do me and deliver what I know will help others the best way I know how, I’m going to “grow my box” and participate.

 

SUMMIT.BANNER.LMR.3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.theseconditclicks.com/LoriR

Click the link above to join me and join us!

Here is your opportunity.  I am joining 21 experts on this upcoming summit, The Second It Clicks.  Focus on the Benefits of Life’s Difficulties and Lead a Radiant Life with a Smile!

 

I know it’s difficult to lose weight.

 

But once you hear me put certain things about fitness & diet into perspective, you’ll feel much better and you’ll have a smile about losing weight.

 

I’m performing my “Lose 30Lbs. in 30 Days. I Did It. Want to Know How?” Act from “The Laughter Diet”. You also can get my free gifts, including a bonus, “Fix the FUPWA” chapter.

 

Hurry up and sign up, it starts April 11th!

 

Till next time,

 

Take a chance and be available to be on someone’s teles-summit and grow your box too!

Minky

minkylogonohot.header

 

When it’s time to QUIT

When I knew it was time to quit…

 

I never expected this much new, fun and exciting content would emerge afterward. After I decided to quit and do what I really love.

I was free to really listen to my current clients and design a class that would help their specific needs and their problem areas.  They also loved to laugh and so did I. (I began to record all my jokes that they laughed at during my exercise classes and presentations)

 

My latest and true, “feels right” journey started about 6 months ago when I decided to “quit” trying to force something on an audience that wasn’t congruent with who I was. I just couldn’t deliver. I kept “dropping the ball”.
Now I’ve read that you shouldn’t quit. “Don’t give up!”, they say. Keep trying and stay the course. Well, I did for eight years. I stayed committed to this audience and wanted to help them do what I had done. Which was to combine something I thought I loved with something I actually loved.

There’s a problem right there, yes?

 

Eight years ago, I decided I was going to combine my love for fitness with my skills and training in nursing and develop programs for a new field in nursing, called “Fitness Nursing”. These programs would train nurses, like myself who were interested in fitness & nursing, and combine the two.
Eight years ago was also the time that my mother, who was also my best friend, died. She was a retired nurse and she dropped dead while on a treadmill at a local gym. (BTW – My mother was a “young 72”, never sick or in the hospital as a patient.)
This seemed like the perfect way to honor and “show” her (my mom) that I wouldn’t let her down and really do something great with my nursing.

 

See my mom encouraged me to go back to school for nursing when I was a single mother on welfare and my current college degree wasn’t doing what I thought it would. I needed to make some money and support myself and my son. I needed to make her proud and get off welfare. And even though she was gone, I felt compelled to do this to make me feel better.
As Dr. Venus Opal Reese, “The Black Woman Millionaire Mentor” asks you, “When did life break your heart?”
Life broke my heart then and I had to do something to cover up that pain.
I was blinded by my grief and my guilt. I felt that I should have done more to help my mother. My goodness a treadmill killed her? Yes, exercise can kill. (Make sure you put that in your waivers and disclaimers) Exercise can kill, especially, when you’re not well.

 

Even though I had many ups and downs during the last 8 years, the common denominator through it all was… I wasn’t enjoying what I was doing. I felt like a “phoney” for 8 years.

 

Has this ever happened to you? Do you feel that way now?
I admired nurses, for goodness sake, my mom was my first exposure and impression of nurses. My mother named my brother “Corey” after Julia, the t.v. show in the late 1960’s about a black nurse played by Dihann Carroll who named her the t.v. show son, “Corey”. I even went to work with my mom at various healthcare facilities, usually during snow storms. So nursing was in my blood, right?

Wrong.
See, I wasn’t a nurse in my heart. Turns out, I was more like my dad… a performer,  a joker, a sarcastic bitch.
I graduated from college in the 1980’s and went on the road as a traveling stand-up comedienne. (No, my parents were not too proud, but what could they do. I was grown)
If I told you how I got the great jobs/positions I did in nursing over the 25 years in it; you’d agree… I put on a performance.

 

They were dream jobs. Jobs NOT in the paper (we looked for jobs in the newspaper back then)

I was literally paid to speak in front of audiences out at community events, some quite fancy and others in basements… but they all involved me being able to do a “show”.

I even was paid a nurses’ rate to teach exercise classes for 2 major hospital systems for years. That’s the only reason I was able to stay in the field of nursing.

Being on the units, I knew I would eventually kill someone.
Since I was in those “I like to hear myself talk” positions, I felt I could train other nurses, like me who wanted “off of the unit” and to educate and demonstrate fitness to those people who had physical limitations too.
I never worked full-time as a nurse, I always had other “side gigs/positions” in sales, worked in gyms and trained people to become certified as personal trainers and did traveling and speaking gigs about stress and health for what was then called, Nursing Spectrum and other nursing organizations and private events.

 

But I found out quickly that nursing is quite conservative and too politically correct for my personality on stages. I was held back in what I could say, do and sell.

 

Other nurses in the industry of speaking were always telling me to “tone it down” or “you can’t say that”. On evals I would get, “I didn’t appreciate her humor or “her humor was inappropriate…” or “why does she dress like that… not appropriate for this venue”. My abs were so cut, that you could see them through the light and tight Danskin top I wore on stage (sometimes).
Meanwhile when I did my own private gigs, I got rave reviews and people would tell me to stop making them laugh because they were going to “pee their pants!” (Ironically something I help people with today 🙂 )
My mistake was I tried to carry my “private gig mentality” and making money and an impact, in a way that worked against what healthcare does AND into a profession who generally only cared about accreditation and if their employer would pay for stuff. Which I can understand. But it was so BORING to me. I wanted to entertain!

 

What is it that you really want to do?

 

So, I guess dropping the “F-bomb” once in a while and talking about crotches in a joke to make a certain point get across easier, usually didn’t make the cut for contact hours (credits for nursing licenses). So I kept it as “sterile” as I could.
The fitness nurse thing sounded like a great idea, I had collected, over time without much effort or marketing, 3,000 nurses on an e-mail list.

I made erratic money.

I was all over the place because it never felt right.

 

But whenever I did make money, I felt like I was tied up and partially gagged, even guilty at times and was doing things for the wrong reasons. (To please my mom)
The nurses who showed up, were great.

But that was it.

Because of lack of sales training and market development and identity/clear objectives, my program(s) fell by the wayside. In the garbage or on a shelf to never be seen again. The “shelf grave” I call it.
So after 8 years of trying to do this… I quit. I gave it up. All 3,000 names deleted.

Sometimes, as Seth Godin says in his book, “The Dip”, you have to know when to quit.

That time when you just can’t talk to another nurse (for 40 minutes) who says they “hate their job” and wants to do more “preventative” work (which doesn’t sell and I couldn’t say it anymore) and work with “healthy” people. Knowing in my gut that they aren’t going to do anything.

 

That’s not just nurses, that’s all people who suffer from the “grass is greener” effect.

 

I believe that you are who you are and your work is how you survive. I could have been working as a housekeeper, but I still would be trying to get people to laugh and sell them something on the side.
I am in contact with about 10 nurses who I’ve met through the years who are like me: brass balls, big mouths, sarcastic, non-empathetic to those who lived by the sword and then want “fixing” (immediately). Not really qualities of a “caring” nurse, you think?

 

Have you ever told someone to get their own damn bedpan? Or tell a nurse supervisor to kiss where the sun don’t shine? Well, yours truly has. (And I wasn’t necessarily having a bad day)
The truth is we (my other 10 “done with this shit” comrades) just happen to be nurses. It was not our “calling”. It was a job that provided a means to an end. I could’ve been doing anything, but because of the influence of my mother, (who’s calling was to be a nurse), I became a nurse… but for the wrong reasons.
I equate it to wanting to become a teacher to have the summers off.

 

 

(But don’t get me wrong, it’s NOT wasted at all. ALL LIFE EXPERIENCE contributes to your “calling”. We don’t always know what that is in a definite way.  Our “calling” evolves with our life experiences. Even though I don’t want to work as a nurse anymore, I got a lot of “shick” (material) for my comedy while working in” nursing 🙂 )

 

 

We (these few soon-to-be former nurses and I) have bonded through my 8 years of fog. We are performers and heretics and don’t care what other people think who would never listen to our message(s) anyway.
We know we have to polarize and can’t help everyone. We are in it for the money (without apology) and that money allows us to make an impact in those 1,000 people, true fans, we know we can help. (From Tim Ferriss to Jeff Goins, all are talking about the “only 1,000 true fans we need” to find and speak directly.)

Focus on them and speak without worry of offense or backlash. That can only happen when you don’t worry about losing your job and following rules. When you know who your tribe is and what they want and how you can help them, there’s no stopping you.

Today, I use nurse in my title (The Joking Fitness Nurse) because in some of my jokes and stories I refer to healthcare. But that’s it. People ask me what I do I tell them I’m a performer and  writer.

“Of what?”

I continue to say, “Of all things concerning and improving the part of the body from ‘your navel to your knuckle’ in people over 50 years of age. That can be from a comedy act about how to STOP stuffing 10Lbs. in a 5Lb. bag to an exercise class that helps women ‘laugh without leaks’ to writing about how men over 50 can reduce their ‘Dicky-Dos’.”

Then I may say, “I call myself ‘The Joking Fitness Nurse'”. Only then may they get it.  It’s new, but I love it and I’m sure not everyone will get it… but that’s o.k. I crack myself up everyday, anyway.
I also will work in a limited capacity with those 10 soon-to-be former nurses who want some expert advising on how to develop their message and programs in the fitness & diet space. (A Fitness Nurse Consultant)
But mostly, I focus on getting through to people over 50 who are not going to do the t.v. exercise programs and are concerned about holding it (their body) together between their “navel and their knuckle” through fitness, diet and fun.
And I’m glad that there are nurses out there who do what they do and do it well. I just am not one of them.

 

Are you in a position like this?

 

If so, consider strongly… quitting. (not your J-O-B which keeps the lights on), but some side gig that’s not going the way you planned after years of trying to be like someone else. (kind of, right?)

 

Consider quitting. Throwing out that 3-legged table and build a whole new one.

 

Start talking to one person who gets your message and is excited with how you are helping them. Then find 3 more. Then 5. Then 10 and so on.

 

It’s slow going but it’s much more gratifying to be authentic with 25 people who love and appreciate your work than 3,000 on an e-mail list who can detect your phoniness and only 8% open or they never open your emails. They don’t even show you the effort of unsubscribing.  They really don’t care about a damn thing you say or do.

 

Just like Kevin O’Leary says on the t.v. show Shark Tank, “You’re dead to me”. This is what they are telling me.

 

Today my email list of just 50 “true fans” gets an open rate of 68%. I like those stats much better.

If you’d like to join this list please do so in the upper right.

 

I have left up my Facebook page , Fitness Nurse Consultant, with over 750 likes, but that’s over 8 years – not too impressive. However if it helps one nurse get clear or an idea, I’ll leave it up there.

 

The Facebook page that I will post all my stuff that I currently do, like Twitter posts and tips for my audience, is directly to the right – LMAO Consulting. Feel free to “like” it.

Much appreciated. I’ll reciprocate the “like” if you want.

 

Remember this “quitting” is after 8 years. Not something I started on a whim or a few months and then quit. So I am definitely not “giving up” too soon.

 

I finally through working with great mentors in this last year was able to say, “Sorry mom, but I’m moving on from nursing. I don’t owe it to you anymore”. The crazy thing about it all, is that my mom would probably, no definitely, want me to move on and be happy in my work and life.

 

I’m off to teach one of my Navel to Knuckle exercise classes, called “Laughs without Leaks” for women over 50. Some of them call me the Joking Fitness Nurse, some of them call me a Fitness Nurse some of them call me a “sadist”.

 

But it is where I perform without fear of offense and backlash.

 

I help my clients, who love me, to improve all things in that area of the body which includes creating a safe space for them to be themselves, let it all hang out, then how to hold it in, how to decrease their tummies, activate their gluts (butts) and to “laugh without leaks”. (To NOT pee their pants!) Ha Ha!

Live the C.C.R.A.N. Lifestyle

Have you’ve been on many diets before?  Eating clean? Mediterrean? Paleo? Vegetarian?  You probably have if you’re over 40 and are figure conscious.

Which ever one you choose, you must take in less than you expend as a common denominator. Period. I know, that’s not exciting is it?

I won’t knock those diets, ’cause like exercise, all diets fundamentally work. The problem is our environment is all about indulgence. But I’m a control freak and I like to control what I eat. Eating doesn’t control me. I like to indulge too, but I also don’t want my thighs to rub together when I walk. So, I compromise. I Live the CCRAN Lifestyle. Calorie Cycling & Restriction Adequate Nutrition.

July 2015. Not bad for going into August my "Lounge chair, hot dog and umbrella drink" month.

July 2015. Not bad for going into August my “Lounge chair, hot dog and umbrella drink” month.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’ve probably heard of the C.R.O.N. Diet.  It stands for Calorie Restriction Optimal Nutrition. (Dr. Roy Walford; Brian M. Delaney, Co-Author of The Longevity DietCR Society ;  Mark Mattson; Peter Voss, and others) It has been proven to increase longevity, especially the calorie restriction part. (Some people disagree; after all there’s a study for every thing, right?)

CCRAN is individual for each person. Some people will want to be vegans, I don’t. I eat a lot of vegetables, but I also eat animal fat.

That’s what so great about how we teach our clients CCRAN. Through CCRAN principles, mindful eating, exercise, and 3 simple steps, we help you create your own CCRAN Lifestyle (one that you CAN live with). One caveat – we only work with people over 40, who want to lose 30lbs. No more. And it’s not the last 3o lbs; but the first 30 lbs. (Reason given in a later post. It has to do with our history of working with all kinds of people with weight loss and fitness)

 

I’ve always liked the concept of this CR diet, because I can’t stand GLUTTONY.  I feel that we are poisoned by too many calories and many people need a “Foodie Rescue” or “Foodie 911”. As a matter of fact, I call it GUTTONY.  (No “L”) ‘Cause that’s what you end up with. A “GUT” from “GLUT”.

 

I’ll admit I’ve been a “calorie restrictor” for years. (Yet, I eat what I want) I’m not just talking about “fasting”. But just not eating/drinking a lot of calories at any one sitting and within 24 hours.

 

 

When I read Tim Ferriss’ book, “The 4-Hour Body” and I couldn’t stop laughing when he mentioned about calorie restriction and the baboons.

 

The summation of the CR (Calorie Restriction) study was that the one baboon (#1) who ate whatever he wanted died sooner than the baboon (#2) who was fed a calorie restricted diet (like cardboard).

 

Tim went on to point out that baboon (#1) died sooner (yet, with a smile on his face) and baboon (#2), even though he was still living – had a look on his face that he wished he was dead.  “Why won’t someone mercifully kill me?!”  Baboon #2 just couldn’t eat another piece of cardboard. 🙂

 

So, I agreed. Quality vs. Quantity. Is there a compromise?

For me there is. I eat what I want. I am aware of calories (so I don’t count nor do I weigh my food. You may have to do these things in the beginning, if don’t have a clue how much energy [kcal] you are taking in). But I also like flavor, I adore fats, all kinds – from animal fat to avocado fat to cottage cheese fat.

 

My issue, pet peeve, platform –

 

I think people eat too fuckin’ much.

 

Yes, there are hormones and other health issues to consider, but usually somewhere in their life, they ate more than they needed and put on weight over time. There bodies became very good at “fat-making”, that they literally just have to “look” at food at they would gain weight. That’s a tough place to be.

 

As we get older, it is harder to lose weight.  That’s why I don’t strive for a “6-pack” anymore. I like my “2-pack”. Which is challenging to maintain.  How do I do it?

 

I live the C.C.R.A.N. Lifestyle (NOT C.R.O.N.)

 

C.R.A.N. stands for Calorie Restriction ADEQUATE Nutrition.  We, my brother and I, feel that “optimal” nutrition is only temporary for 95% of the population.

 

Unless you live in a biosphere and have your own farm animals.

 

Calorie Cycling & Restriction and Adequate Nutrition (you know, A Snickers bar from Halloween candy for dinner one night a month and a 3/4 of a Big Mac with grape soda a second night within a month – crap basically – we eat crap from time to time) is how he and I are able to still fit the clothes we wore in high school. Well over 30 years ago. Not that we still have them. Well, I do have 2 pairs of jeans and a couple of tee-shirts.  We just know our calorie requirements and only eat 2 fistfuls of food and drink at one sitting.

If we do go over our calorie requirement, what we call our “caloric magic number” –  well then it’s on! We accept the bloat BUT don’t let it go too far. WE do things to minimize the “small GLUT” damage. You know, “kill the monster when it’s small”.

We do crazy exercise because we have been physical all of our lives.

If you are a beginner, you have to start at a different level when it comes to movement after eating crap. Getting the “crap eating” under control and portion control is what we tackle first anyway. All foods can fit… just not all at the same time and as often.

Here’s a pic of “my baby bro” showing off –

My brother is (50ish) and does CRAN now that he's older.

My brother is (50ish) and does CCRAN now that he’s older.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The C.C.R.A.N. Lifestyle simply refers to calorie cycling & restriction, adequate nutrition, exercise and sleep. Not just any exercise, but exercise that you will do though ==>easy cardio, like walk-jog/run-walk. And what we call N2K strength exercises that target the area of your body from your navel to your knuckles.

N2Kdiagram

 

 

 

 

 

These exercises are thigh-thinning exercises too. No explosive body exercises, plyometrics (jumping up on boxes and trash cans or turning over backhoe tires), no excessive stepping, squatting & lunges nor heavy weights. We do just enough to let your body know that you NEED your muscles to survive, while you’re in a calorie restricted-state. In other words, to preserve as much muscle as possible, while you live The CCRAN Lifestyle.

 

So, we don’t do “Crash Cross Fit”, nor never-ending cardio nor in the gym everyday for hours.  (But we do like going to the gym once in a while.) If you like those exercises that’s great and you should do what you like.  But at our age, and after years of abusive, competitive athletics and fitness, our bodies/joints can’t handle the stress of those types of exercise.

I use a lot of my “Navel to Knuckle” exercises that are great for women over 40; yet awesome for men over 40 too!

We use our own body, shake weights, Pilates ring, standing exercises and isometrics. My brother uses kettle bells because he knows what he’s doing. I’m afraid of kettle bells.

I don’t fall for “new” types of exercises that are really rehashed from years earlier.  We do movement that helps your body discern the need for muscle while your restrict your calories with foods from grocery stores like ALDI. Did you get you latest ALDI grocery list I use for my CCRAN Lifestyle. Remember Each “CCRANNY” (A person who decides to live the CCRAN Lifestyle, has their own staples of food and exercise rituals. But I share mine as an example. Go to top right and sign up to get it plus more surprise goodies.)

ALDI isn't everywhere. But it's on the East Coast and it's cheaper than most stores. I also like the German brands.

ALDI isn’t everywhere. But it’s on the East Coast and it’s cheaper than most stores. I also like the German brands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We feel that picking one store for most of your food helps you stick to a plan of eating.  Some foods are not available at ALDI, but MOST are.  ALDI also saves you money.

From coconut oil to sauerkraut to veggie burgers (if that’s what you like).

 

Now of course, you have to evaluate your calorie intake for a few days, but then that’s it.  Also you have to “shrink” your stomach’s satisfaction for fullness.  And we help you with finding your portion size for each meal too.

 

You will strategically eat and exercise to best utilize fat-burning.  But CR is a must and so is 2 fistfuls of food as a measure of your portion size at any meal or snacking.

We help you with reducing your waist and helping you to look better in your clothes, in yoga pants and especially that crotch area. (Our specialty – N2K area of your body).

 

Feel better and look better in your clothes, especially your pants and shorts.

 

I’ll write about sleep on another post. But for now download the ALDI list and get started on your C.C.R.A.N. Lifestyle! It’s fun and simple to do.

Beome a CCRANNY today!

Start by simply signing up for Minky’s list. I only send out about a couple of e-mails a month with CCRAN tips and “Live The CCRAN Lifestyle” book updates.

Follow me on Twitter and Like us on Facebook, top right of page. Thanks!

Nurses interested in Fitness and Diet don’t fall for this

O.K., I’m back in New Jersey.

Here’s a piece for nurses interested in making money and an impact in the fitness & diet space.

Speak to Sell LIVE in Tampa (10/15-10/17/2015) was great! And I have new pics with me and the great Lisa Sasevich (The Queen Of Sales Conversion and Creator of the Invisible Close)

 

O.K. here’s an updated pic here (in case you don’t want to look back at the last post):

lori.lisaTampa1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This wasn’t my first rodeo with Lisa and I can’t believe how much more I learned. I’m actually going to deliver an “irresistible” offer in my comedy act! And make Lisa proud! How about THAT?!

 

 

As I was introducing my brother to Twitter, I was on SM more than usual and I noticed not one but 3 quotes from “experienced nurses” in business for themselves (mostly within nursing, services all for contact hours, not for me- some are doing well, some aren’t), about how nurses can do ANYTHING. (Just because they are a nurse).

 

One nurse said, “Nurses are great at learning new things, just point us in the right direction and we’ll figure it out“. That’s one of the major problems for nurses new to business or in business. Nurses feel like they don’t need to invest or learn anything outside of nursing and want to compare it to nursing duties, and they’ll just “figure out” the rest. A disservice to me.

 

Another nurse (who I really admire) but wrote, “We’re even good salespeople. Every time you have to convince a patient to adhere or follow up on some tests, you’re selling!”

 

Really.  That’s the same thing?!

 

When a patient is in the hospital in pain, scared, upset, embarrassed, feeling alone and at the mercy of the hospital staff, how much effort would it take to get a patient to adhere in your presence. Even if it took skill on the part of the nurse, the patient is at a disadvantage always, and will likely never say “no”.

 

 

NOT, NOT, NOT the same at all as asking for someone to turn over their hard earned cash in a conversation or from the stage for your service or product.

 

 

[That’s why nurses interested in fitness & diet should focus on building lists with education-based and authority-based marketing.  NOT SO MUCH SOCIAL MEDIA, some, but do not put your all your business eggs in the SM basket because it’s easy. Look at what other fitness and diet gurus are doing NOT other nurses. One thing I see that works against nurses in business (outside of nursing) is that they want to help everyone.  Because in nursing, even when in a specialty unit, you don’t get to pick your patients and you help everyone who’s given to you.  This is just the opposite in your fitness & diet business.]

 

 

Nursing (the industry) is so against selling; that you’ll never sell from the stage at a nursing event. It’s not allowed. Now I realize that you can get other things like names and contact info that’s just as, if not more valuable; most nurses don’t or won’t do this.  They walk away from the talk with a lot of praise and thank-you’s and $500-$1,000 for speaking.  Minus expenses.

 

 

A no thank you for me any more.

 

 

I’m all for a rah, rah session and positive talk, but let’s get real… unless you’ve done sales (with plenty of rejection), cold calls (some), generate leads, have a script and can sell one-on-one and from the stage/ teleseminar/webinar in your past life, (you don’t learn this in nursing school), then you’re not making any money in your “business”.

 

Now you may be the exception.

 

I believe personalities are what they are regardless of your “work”. If I was cleaning hotel rooms, I would still be trying to sell things to people on the fly or at an event or on the phone.  I just happen to be a nurse (not typical though).

 

 

I’ve just seen it too many times when it comes to sales and selling.  Nurses fall flat on their faces. This is where I draw the line.

When I work with a nurse who is sure they want to get into the fitness and diet space; I ask you about your sales experience and won’t count the times you got someone to “do something” in the hospital. Nursing experiences are varied, but let’s talk about your life experiences too. Outside of nursing.

 

 

I won’t bullshit you.  Fitness professionals will eat you alive. And they don’t care that you are a nurse.  Your potential clients in this space want results, not resumes, not long-term anything and definitely NOT prevention.

 

 

Nurses, admit that you need sales training.

Like the training I get with Lisa Sasevich. She teaches you how to sell without being salesy, pushy or mushy. I invested time, money and effort to learn from the master. (she made 25 million last year).

[That’s why when someone of her caliber, laughed out loud at my new idea and my new company, LMAO Consulting… you run with it!!!]

Her previous jobs before her business boomed – she was a pharmaceutical sales rep (how many of you cringed when you had to deal with them), she also worked in sales for Hewlett-Packard and for a seminar company. But look where it got her today.  She’s a master of it.  Smooth as silk.  It takes practice.  You’ll only get great at sales by selling. Period.

 

Follow sales experts on Twitter like Jeffrey Gitomer and Wendy Weiss and others. Stop worrying about the initials and more and more education that you may not need if you want to make money, and make a difference outside of nursing.  The initials don’t guarantee anything… sales practice and sales conversions do.

 

 

Here’s a quote from Napoleon Hill:

“General knowledge, no matter how great in quantity or variety it may be, is of but little use in the accumulation of money.”

 

 

If you want to keep going to school and keep getting a variety of certifications, great.   I’m not talking to you.

 

If you say you’re not in it for the money you just want to help people, great.  I’m not talking to you.

 

If you want to leave nursing and replace and grow your income to work in the fitness and diet space and make an impact there (which requires money)… GREAT – I’M TALKING TO YOU.

 

If you want to talk with me about finding your target market in fitness & diet, generating leads and sales conversations, or just where to start; you can do so at your 15-minute discovery session here:

 

 

——————————————————-

 

Oh, in case you missed it, here’s my fitness model brother (50ish) posing and showing off before our photo shoot:

 

coreyplanche

This is a gymnastics move. Called a planche. My brother was a gymnast when he was a kid. This is very difficult. He makes it look easy. The exercises in our book WILL NOT include these “show off” moves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And

 

Another gymnastics move. The "L seat". My bro still has it!

Another gymnastics move. The “L seat”. My bro still has it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sign up above right, for Minky’s List to get updates on our “No Dicky-Do Diet” book!

 

Tampa with Lisa Sasevich and My Brother

As I write this, I am still in Tampa, Florida.

Let’s start with the great Lisa Sasevich at “Speak To Sell” LIVE (STS).

Here’s the new pics I promised, taken, 10/15/17 at the STS evening party:

lisasasevich.minkyTampaSTS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My STS formula for my comedy act (never done before) and my 2 other programs is coming together nicely.  I’ve created my irresistible offer and am reverse engineering it all.  Creating a partnership, with all I can help, from the start!

 

 

lori.lisaTampa1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We had “Sassytinis”:

 

 

 

Sassytini

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We had so much fun!

 

 

——————————————————–

 

 

Now for my fitness model brother who posed for my exercises for the No Dicky-Do program:

If you have a “Dicky-Do, you will NOT be doing this one!

Impressive at near 50, right?

coreyplanche

This move is called a “planche” in gymnastics. Corey did competitive gymnastics as a kid. Those kettle bells weigh over 80 lbs. each. Sometimes he uses them off the ground. Whew!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, if you have Dicky-Do, you will do this first…

 

 

 

This is called a bear walk. It's challenging being on all fours. We start you here.

This is called a bear walk. It’s challenging being on all fours. We start you here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then…

Sales Nuggets and Speak to Sell Live with Lisa Sasevich

Well it’s time for me to update my photo with the great Lisa Sasevich!

Lisa and Lori. She's "the Queen of Sales Conversion and the Invisible Close" and I'm, "The Joking Fitness Nurse" See a trend here. Call yourself by what you do, so people can tell other people about you easily.

Lisa and Lori. She’s “the Queen of Sales Conversion and the Invisible Close” and I’m, “The Joking Fitness Nurse” See a trend here. Call yourself by what you do, so people can tell other people about you easily.

 

 

 

 

It’s been a couple of years since this photo was taken. I can’t wait to see her live again!

 

 

 

 

 

I plan to learn how to do something I don’t think anybody has done before with Lisa’s mentoring. I’ll tell you how it turns out when I return from Tampa.

This year's Speak-to-Sell Live with Lisa Sasevich is where I'm putting together something that's never been tried before. I hope to make Lisa proud!

This year’s Speak-to-Sell Live with Lisa Sasevich is where I’m putting together something that’s never been tried before. I hope to make Lisa proud!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just love Lisa’s way.  I know she’s kind of untouchable – but I’ve always felt her authenticity and love the way she is. I think she’s brilliant (and knows how to make that money!)

Since going through my re-brand, and brand new LMAO Consulting venture, I thought I’d post some of Lisa’s wisdom and a link for you to join us on her backstage pass (fr*ee), if you can’t make it live and be with us.

 

Here’s her tips to plan your business like a 7-figure pro:

  1. Listen, Act, Trust. This is Lisa’s mantra, which she practices all year long. Lessons and messages are everywhere, so you want to notice what things keep showing up.
  2. What would you love to NOT do anymore? What do you want to let go in your business? You shouldn’t try to do everything.  [Some things need to be done and can be hired out to someone else and other things, you just shouldn’t do just because they are the “new” thing. Master a few things, the things you like, excel at those, stop doing the rest (what you hate) all by yourself.] italics mine
  3. Use the four Irresistible Offer Litmus Test Questions: Apply this litmus test to your planning process to your irresistible offer and creating a solid 6 and 7-figure business:
    What is the transformation you want to offer? You’re always evolving and growing, so take time to look at what’s in your heart.
    How would you deliver that transformation? Don’t make the mistake and think about the delivery first without know your transformation that you provide. Then, take your lifestyle and which delivery model best serves the transformation you are working to provide
    Is is leveraged? There are so many hours in the day. If you are going to eventually get to 6 and 7 figures, you need an offer that works with more than one person at a time. I do a hybrid model of private VIP days, comedy act (group, live), and teleseminars.
    Do “I Love It?” This is what you ask yourself. This is key. You want to be doing something that you love. “Standing on your dime”, is something Lisa always says when you’re doing the “right thing you’re supposed to do” and you know it, you feel it! You’re not fulfilling what somebody else says that you should do or what you think you’re supposed to do because that’s what you degree is in or that’s what your industry expects of you.  (if you don’t love it… get out of it!)
  4. Bonus tip – Give yourself some space. Don’t try to plan your big future on a sticky note. Open up a wall, a large table and give yourself some physical space to plan the business & life of your dreams!

I can’t wait to get there and also to see my fitness model brother; who’s writing the “No Dicky-Do Diet” book with me.  I’ll be doing a photo shoot with him too while I’m down there in Tampa.

 

Here’s the link to your Complimentary Speak-to-Sell Backstage pass to Lisa’s event GRAB YOUR PASS HERE

 

I hope you’ll see me in the audience, over 350 people “agents of change” (Lisa likes to say), will be there!

 

minkylogonohot.header

 

 

Minky