NOT a "Joke Coach" **************** but I am a JOKE of a Coach when it comes to "real" coaching principles… BREAKTHROUGHS COME FROM LISTENING & LAUGHING!

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What’s CCRAN?

The C.C.R.A.N. Lifestyle

George Bernard Shaw, always thin, weighed himself everyday and maintained a low weight. He lived to be 94. Asked about his youthfulness at age 68: “So be a good fellow and tell me how you succeeded in looking so youthful?”. Shaw: “I don’t. I look my age. It is the other people who look older than they are.”


This is CCRAN = Calorie Cycling & Restriction Adequate Nutrition


Click this link also for more information and history of CRON/CRAN:


This is not C.R.O.N. (Calorie Restriction Optimal Nutrition), because sometimes you just want a piece of pizza and a beer or a piece of candy. Eating “optimally” is not always possible.

This is CCRAN, with an extra “C” for Cycling and an “A” for Adequate, not “O”:








***First and foremost we always know our food/kitchen staples and have them available at all times. Mine are potatoes, bacon, mixed vegetables, lettuce, liver & all fats (butter, coconut oil, beef tallow, lard). What are yours?***


9 CCRAN Principles:

  1. Be a rule breaker! (DE2LW)
  2. Increase vitamins A & D (naturally preferred)
  3. Switch cooking oils (even olive oil)
  4. We are breakfast skippers & food jaggers.
  5. No exercise on Mondays.
  6. Balance is bunk.
  7. Sleep for dinner.
  8. Should have a “crutch” when needed.
  9. Don’t encourage saboteurs.

A CCranny: someone who has adopted the CCRAN lifestyle to fit our liking while we deal with keeping ourselves, our family & our pets happy.


The CCRAN Philosophy:

We need to do something we care about – like learning from the bad habits of our fat pugs’ routine. We need to do the opposite of what our FAT pugs do, with our diet and exercise plan.


Firstly, we are being “poisoned” by excess calories. We are eating too f*%#ing much. (I said this a lot growing up, so a few years ago when I found Shane Ellison, The People Chemist, online with a book he just wrote with this title, I had to buy it. I love this book):



I get NO monies for promoting Shane’s book. I just really love it and want to share someone’s work, who feels the same way I do about eating too much food.

Secondly, this not a “diet” but a change in the way you now do things and see things with a fat pug. Your new M.O. How you now “see” food and “how” you move and how you move with your fat pug. (ie: carry him/her around as part of your exercise routine) I literally do arm exercises with my fat pug, Pang Pang! 


You cannot be addicted to food. Even though your fat pug may be. You’re NOT! That’s like saying when you hyperventilate; you’re addicted to oxygen. You can’t be addicted to something you need to live. (But you can be addicted to types of food, like sugar) 




As a CCranny, you don’t think about food all the time. You often “forget to eat large meals”. When you do eat it is small portions, BUT you eat what you want. A CCranny eventually becomes “full” on less food. We do not believe or practice “Gluttony” (even at holiday time) or what we like to call “Guttony”(No “L”). Because that’s likely what you will end up with. Nor do we “buy into” the fiber craze and replace everything white with everything brown. Again, we eat what we want. We like to stay off the toilet, except once or twice a day.

This book can be depressing to realists. But I, like most people, enjoy fantasy and want to believe that we can lose and maintain weight. Especially 30lbs. But it is a well-researched book and I do refer to it.
















We attempt to get the physique we want by doing exercises (resistance and cardio) that work best with our natural body type and won’t over load our system on a daily basis and make us ravenously hungry (ie: cross fit, plyo-anything, anything in the water). We acknowledge our “irrational want” (mine: NOT having my thighs rub together) and use the techniques in the CCRAN lifestyle to get as close to that “want” as possible without being miserable.


I include my fat pug, Pang Pang, in my exercise routine. (He watches me).  


Why 30 lbs.?

30 lbs. is enough weight for you and others to see and feel a difference… but not so much weight where your body really begins to “fight” against you and your survival hormones resist your massive weight loss.
We help men & women, usually over 40, to not eat so F#*@ing much by becoming a CCRANNY and living the CCRAN Lifestyle. Pang Pang, the fat pug, demonstrates what NOT to do when living the CCRAN Lifestyle. We also help him you improve the area from your Navel to your Knuckles (N2K, see below). Like zipping your favorite pants again. If you have up to 30lbs. you want to lose, with our methods, you will see the best results with getting back in those favorite pants/jeans and keeping it off.
From the Nobody’s Listening show, you’ll also hear during our Pet Peeve, “10 Lbs in a 5 Lb. Bag” segment, talking points on:

  1. What CCRAN is & how it helps you maintain your weight too
  2. How becoming a minimalist helps you lose weight easier
  3. Over 40 body changes that make you become more and more vegetarian (URGH!)
  4. The 80/20 split on diet and exercise already
  5. How “Balance is BUNK” and how it’s keeping you from losing 30lbs.
  6. Fix the FUPWA for women (see below)
  7. Stop developing Dicky-dos for men (see below)
  8. Identify YOUR “irrational want” (To have thin thighs?)
  9. How to stop “Productions” in your life, so they won’t keep you from losing 30lbs.
  10. Calorie restriction tips / Calorie Cycling-best cycles
  11. Losing 30 lbs. in 30 days (I did it, want to know how?)
  12. Stop doing step aerobics please
  13. Why you should actually exercise, the real reason
  14. What is your “food crack”?
  15. “Real World” mindful eating
  16. Rice works on “Survivor” My pug loves rice!
  17. Don’t need to exercise to lose weight, (fat pugs like this one)
  18. Gluttony begets Guttony (not what you think)
    any much more…

This is a FUPWA (Fat Underlying Pussy Willow Attachment):

FUPWA. Fat Underlying Pussy Willow Attachment









This is NO FUPWA:











This is a Dicky-Do. It’s when your stomach sticks out further than your dicky do.

no dicky-dos

Man with a Dicky-Do.














Hunger PangPang Plan helps with both of these.