A Story Listener & co-host from the Nobody's Listening Show play a game "FUN STORY SHORT" with YOU, who NEVER wants to feel stupid again after saying, "LONG Story Short", when telling your rambling story to someone you want to impress.

Write/call The NLS to be a contestant! MONDAYS – 8:30pm EST Launches Fall 2017.

Salt, Sugar, Fat Addiction? Really?

For years I couldn’t wrap my mind around people saying that they were or are addicted to food.

How can you be addicted to something that your body needs to survive.

It’s like saying if you hyperventilate a lot; stop breathing oxygen.

Then I looked at how I was able to lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time.

I ate salt, I absolutely will cook with salt, especially vegetables.

I ate sugar. I baked a cake. I had some red licorice.

I definitely ate fat. I used to be a member of Weston A. Price and delivered raw milk to people. Need I say more. At times I had up to a 50% fat diet. But weight a minute Minky – pull out that diary for those 30 days last summer and in recent months…

You know what, I didn’t have as much fat.  I didn’t have as much “junk” (shelf foods) either.

But I still had salt, sugar and fat the “hardwired trifecta” for the pleasure centers of your brain. Could it be that I had these foodstuffs in their, for lack of better words, more pure form?

Could it be the chemicals in the boxed shelf products? I think so… Check out this video. The food companies spend millions to get the salt, sugar, fat trifecta just right! Like crack, if you hit the pipe once and then empty out your bank account, you’re a crack addict and can never smoke it. What food(s) is your crack? :
Since salt, sugar and fat is in most foods, now I see why people call it a “food addiction”. But you still have to identify what makes you eat more.

Here’s a list to start with (I’m sure you know many more):

  • Bags and boxes of salty snacks (like cheese doodles, barbecue potato chips, Doritos. What may help is having triscuit crackers with something on them. I usually have sardines and small pieces of jalepeno cheese to satify my salt craving from time to time.
  • Bags and boxes of cookies and Tandy cakes (like double-stuff oreos, Butterscotch Krimpets, chocolate chip) I have almond cookies or cookies with nuts in them. No more than 2. This satisfies my sweet craving. Rarely, I will have 2-3 pieces of Australian red/black licorice. The black licorice make you poop. Just a FYI warning.

I have been doing C.R.A.N. for almost 6 months now, and I use exercise as a tool to help me stay within my “magic number”, so it is not as difficult for me to stop eating “crap”. I get full very quickly and will not stuff myself.

Nonetheless, I have a new appreciation for those of you who say you have a “Food Addiction”. I believe you now.

I still feel one of the best ways to not eat your “food crack” is to stay away from it. It’s time to try Living the CRAN Lifestyle… become a CRANNY! 🙂

Lose 30 lbs in 30 Days & Thick to Thinner Thighs

SUMMIT.BANNER.LMR.3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lose 30 Lbs in 30 Days?

Yeah right?! I know.

Snake oil.

I agree it is snake oil for most people.

But for some people like me, when all the moons lined up perfectly, I did lose 27 lbs. in 30 days. (30 lbs. in 30 days sounds better, don’t you think?)

 

I’m just an aging Boomer hack who’s sporting a 2-pack and credits nursing home food.

 

My “irrational want” is to NOT have my thighs rub together. Today my thighs don’t rub together. What’s your “irrational want”? (Something about your body’s appearance/shape you think could never happen but is what you really want.)

I give you some tips on this audio if you want your thick thighs to be thinner.

Also please consider joining The CCRAN Club.

 

I mention some unhealthy and healthy hacks during my Laughter Diet performance below:




I did it.  Want to know how? Listen in above.

Enjoy,

Minky

minkylogonohot.header

 

 

I Luv Lunks

 

I luv lunks.

luvlunks

 

 

 

 

I love looking at their bodies.

I love their muscles.

I love watching how they train.

I always have since I can remember and I always will.

I love to hear the “bro-science”.

But what I don’t love is the big muscles on me.

Well, not anymore. Not my legs, my thighs, anymore.

After years of gymnastics, sprinting (hurdling), competitive bodybuilding, I know what it’s like to “naturally” have the propensity to build muscular, big thighs.

When you are muscular and have a low body fat and are in your 20’s or you just have a low body fat regardless of what your age is, your muscles look good in the glistening sun. I like that look. I like to look at that look.

But that look is not for me anymore.

My days of squatting, lunging, plyo-anything and anything with “Russian” attached to it are over.

 

And my joints thank me.

 

Are there any other “mesomorph types” who put on muscle easy, who can bulk up easy, who were former gymnasts, sprinters, bodybuilders (serious), who want to rid themselves of the massiveness of their thighs and not be so muscle-bound and “thick” today?

Because today, you aren’t maintaining the unsustainable very low body fat levels like when you were younger and you’re not training 20 hours or more a week, your legs are starting you look like tree trunks.

 

Don’t you want to try skinny jeans? Be honest.

 

Remember what you did to get those tight, muscular thighs? Remember after doing such an intense leg workout, your legs would feel like they didn’t belong to you?

You wondered if you could even drive home, because your legs were so fatigued. Your thighs felt like jelly, yet they also felt like they weighed 1,000 lbs. each to move them.

Then you looked up, as you exit the gym and see these…

 

Thank Goodness! A movable escalator!

Oh wait. It’s broke. The escalator going up is broken.

So, you have to climb them manually…

 

escalatoratgym

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You could just lie down right there at the bottom of the broken escalator and spend the night 🙂

I used to love that feeling; but not any more…

I don’t want big thighs, I call “thunder thighs” any more.

I want to feel/look good in my clothes.

Don’t you?

I don’t want my thighs to rub together.

I am a spectator of muscle-boundness now.

Not a participant any more.

I like to watch the lunks.

And did I mention I like to hear them grunt.

I’ve taken my seat at the spectator table when I’m working my upper body.

 

If you want big thighs. Good. I’m happy for you. May I look at your legs?

 

 

If you’re thinking like me and you don’t want that growing thigh look any more – consider joining me and my own little world of trimness and losing 30Lbs.

 

 

In my little world, I help those like me who want to

make their thick thighs thinner and not rub together.

 

In this thinner thigh world of mine, (we all have 30 lbs to lose… no more than that please) and we care more about how we look in clothes, than naked.

Yes looking good naked is great, but here’s my (our) philosophy on that:

 

Let’s face it, unless you’re working a pole, the people or person you want to attract to you, sees you with clothes on first. And has to like what they see with you in your clothes.

And thunder thighs, without the low body fat and Olympic-style training, in my opinion, don’t look that great in clothes.

You’re always pulling down your shorts from in-between your legs and from riding up your crotch when you walk.

I hate that.

 

 

If you opt in to the upper right, you can get my bonus complimentary chapter, “Fix the FUPWA”. This is not for softees.

In it, is a section on “Lose 30 Lbs. in 30 Days. I Did It. Want to Know How?”, I mention some techniques to avoid building your already big thighs.

Also if you click on The Laughter Diet above you can see more of my philosophy and outline of the “diet”.

 

Now if you want big thighs, don’t opt in. Read another cross-fit blog and enjoy your legs.

 

Meanwhile, I’m off to my gym, that I love. Not your ordinary gym.

 

I pay a decent amount of money for the men (only men trainers there) to push me hard during my workouts, but not my legs. I REFUSE to do certain exercises. Not only do I have arthritis, osteo-arthritis from abusing my body when I was a younger athlete and now later in life, rheumatoid arthritis is showing it’s ugly head.

Also, I know the look I want. I sacrificed things to trim my once very muscular thighs. And I’m not going to build them up again, while in pain.

You have to decide what you want your body to look like and then decide if you are committed and willing to do what it takes to get that look.

Don’t be pressured to do what’s popular. For example – I know Cross fit is popular right now. But I don’t want a cross-fit body.

Do you?

These guys who put me through a good workout at the gym, want to stay in business and keep their customers happy. We get along great. We understand and respect each other.

 

So for back to my thighs, I do special exercises – called the “No thunder thigh” exercises.

The lunks at my gym are nice to look at and also nice to work with. I don’t tell any of them my fitness background and training. I like to hear their advice and their sometimes wacky ways of getting in shape.

 

(Oh, I grew up around a lot of men. So, I’m not sensitive to their yelling, sweating, sometimes crudeness and hearing deficits. That’s why I think I had a problem when I worked with women in nursing. No seriously. Too much estrogen. Nurses are great with patients; not so much with each other.)

 

 

So, there are some lunks at my gym.

They are serious when it comes to working out. They are funny and nice and approachable when the work out is over.

 

And I’ll be watching them.

 

Lunk on!

P.S. This is why I don’t go to the purple planet place. ‘Cause Lunks aren’t allowed.

 

Think Inside YOUR Box Is Better Advice

Ever heard the saying,

“Think Outside the Box”? Of course you have.

But what if this is all wrong and you should do the opposite yet add something very effective. In other words, “Think Inside YOUR Box”… and Grow It!

 

think.insidebox

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

According to Harry Beckwith, author of You, Inc., you don’t need to “think outside the box”.

Mr. Beckwith says that the message doesn’t work because the box, your box really, is your way of thinking, working and living and in many cases has worked for you. He says it is the box in which you were born. And you can’t change your box; it’s like changing the shape of your head.

Your box describes you and your uniqueness and it’s what you’ve been operating out of for years.

So, don’t try to think out of your box; it’s too hard. He says instead, grow it.

In other words try new things, bring new things into the box, experiment for sure, but don’t try to be someone or something you’re just not.

Don’t change your thinking; change your box by bringing in new things to it.

Grow a bigger box. (p. 49, You, Inc., Harry Beckwith)

This happened to me just last week. I was asked to participate in a tele-summit, my first one. When I saw the title and all the different kind of speakers, I thought as long as I’m able to do me and deliver what I know will help others the best way I know how, I’m going to “grow my box” and participate.

 

SUMMIT.BANNER.LMR.3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.theseconditclicks.com/LoriR

Click the link above to join me and join us!

Here is your opportunity.  I am joining 21 experts on this upcoming summit, The Second It Clicks.  Focus on the Benefits of Life’s Difficulties and Lead a Radiant Life with a Smile!

 

I know it’s difficult to lose weight.

 

But once you hear me put certain things about fitness & diet into perspective, you’ll feel much better and you’ll have a smile about losing weight.

 

I’m performing my “Lose 30Lbs. in 30 Days. I Did It. Want to Know How?” Act from “The Laughter Diet”. You also can get my free gifts, including a bonus, “Fix the FUPWA” chapter.

 

Hurry up and sign up, it starts April 11th!

 

Till next time,

 

Take a chance and be available to be on someone’s teles-summit and grow your box too!

Minky

minkylogonohot.header

 

How A Nurse Made $92,571 With Her Wellness Program

That’s the title of the email I received earlier today.

 

I knew it was about Rochele Lawson.
See, I met Rochele a few years ago (in Las Vegas) at a “Speak-to-Sell” event with the great Lisa Sasevich. I wish I had taken a picture with Rochele, I didn’t.

But I remember our conversation.

What struck me the most about Rochele (The Queen of Feeling Fabulous), was that she was so serene and content with herself. She was easy to talk to and there wasn’t a competitive bone in her body. (Unlike other nurses at nurse events, I must say. But this wasn’t a “nurse” event for credit hours or evidenced-based theories and a bunch of initials. It was an event like no other I had attended. People were happy, successful and sharing their stories of finding and monetizing what they were good at or became good at executing.)

Hell, I didn’t even know she was a nurse until I kept talking about myself being one.

Nursing didn’t “define” Rochele. It was a part of her skill set as was helping people with improving their health and wellness. She was so good at the latter and got clear on her offer that she made a bunch of money doing something she loved.  Bye, bye trauma nursing and working the night shift.

See (short video) her story below:

http://www.boostsalestoday.com/nurse

 

I am getting no monies for this promotion. And, as a Fitness Nurse Consultant, I only work with nurses with a fitness hustle or want to create a fitness hustle to make money in the fitness & diet space; but I felt compelled to share Rochelle’s story with you and also remind you about Lisa Sasevich. I have photos of her on my Facebook Page too, if you want to see from the last “Speak-to-Sell” in Tampa.

I’ve fallen and I CAN get up

 

 

I’ve fallen and I CAN get up! 

pangpang.pugfall1

PangPang always “freezes” after he falls. Then he does get up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How many times have you feared falling down?

Maybe never if your 3 or 4 years old or a dog,

’cause you don’t have far to go to the ground.

pangpang.pugfall2

He just wants someone to rub his belly… Then he gets up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But if you are upright and over a certain age, you fear falling more often. Like when it snows, when it’s icy or there’s no hand rail. Or wearing pumps / dress shoes on a shiny linoleum floor.

The humorous audio below discusses the “bogus of balance” that everyone (most everyone) believes in, how my father falls and always gets up (he says, “I just go with it and NOT try to stop myself”) and your STW (Short Term Win) exercise to improve your navel to knuckle (N2K) area  this week. Remember to do all your exercises with your insertion and don’t forget the bedroom and bathroom exercises too. (I call your “homework” exercises.)

As always, please see a physician or other qualified health professional prior to doing this or any diet or exercise program.

If you laugh, let’s hope it’s without leaks. Enjoy!…

#3 “I’ve Fallen and I CAN Get Up!”:


Fat burning foods vs Fat making foods

Fat-Burning vs. Fat-Making Foods

Fatburningfoods_resized

Staples from my kitchen… As far as I’m concerned they’re all “Fat-Burning” because I don’t over eat and I have muscle that I use vigorously a few times a week. You can too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s the difference?

The difference is NOT in the foods!

That’s right… not in the food.

The difference is in your metabolism (hormones).

Whenever I hear/read fat-burning foods from anyone, I lose a little

respect for them, unless they are making a joke.

Fat-burning and food (eating) should not even be in the same sentence.

That’s the complete opposite of what food does.

We shouldn’t think of food as fat-making, but we eat for nourishment and energy. As long as our metabolism is working well and we don’t eat more than we need, then it’s really irrelevant if a food is fat-burning.

30 years ago, I learned that muscle was fat-burning, not food, never food. Oh, and NOT eating was fat-burning, muscle burning and dehydrating too. And I don’t think exercise physiology has changed that much in 30 years.

Minky

P.S. Of course in a very competitive weightloss, fat loss world, I realize that “Fat-Burning Food” is a marketing ploy. People sure don’t want to hear about fat-making foods, right? But as you already know, any food that’s more than your calorie requirement to maintain your current weight in 24 hours is “fat-making”. Even if it’s a lentil.

————————————————–

If you want to laugh & hear some fun tips on reducing your Navel to Knuckle area to help with your leaks (just by improving your posture), listen here it’s called

“EDNA’S POSTURE”:


Enjoy! you can listen to more on the STW audio tab above and sign up for my list too!

Fake It Till I Make It. A Must for Body Transformation

“Fake it till you make it!” 

 

 

You’ve heard it before. I’d like to call it to “Act as if”.

 

"I'm so stressed! So many things I'm supposed to do. How do I start? Who am I supposed to be to get results? ...Ahhh screw it, I quit!"

“I’m so stressed! So many things I’m supposed to do. How do I start? Who am I supposed to be to get results? Be me? Be myself? Well that’s why I’m having the problem! …Ahhh screw it, I quit!”

 

 

 

Being a Heretic, my opinion will not be popular… ever.

 

But what I’ve read others, particularly on social media, write about is popular, the “Let’s all be authentic” pitch. Show the ‘real you’ and let others know who you are! Dammit!”

 

 

You’re sure to get the “knee jerk ‘like‘ reaction” on your feel good comment on social media. Or even comments on your blog that validates your plea to not “fake it till you make it” and not be someone else.

 

This all makes sense and sound good. Why would you try to be somebody you’re not?

 

…How about when you want to change your habits to transform your body?

 

It’s amazing how differently people see things…

 

I can only assume that when people are writing about not ‘faking it’, they’re talking about copying someone else’s “way” or style or even their work. Or maybe calling themselves something that they haven’t “earned”.  Oh boy…

 

AND…

 

… they have never ventured into the world of body transformation, either personally being successful at it or trying to help others with it [changing their bodies].

 

I tell my clients, often in the beginning, to “fake it till they make it” all the time.

 

Why?

 

Because they do not know who they are when they must live a different way to get the results they want.  It takes practice of rituals… daily.

 

In other words, they need to “visualize” their day, what they will do and what they want to look like. (a form of ‘faking it’)

 

Because they need to imagine pit bulls chasing them on my manual treadmill, with a very tight tread for 30-60 seconds. (a form of ‘faking it’)

 

Because they need to eat like a “thin” person. Be like someone who is not a “foodie” and could care less about having lunch. (form of ‘faking it’)

 

Because they want to build even a little anti-aging, fat-burning muscle and their body is saying, “Nooo! Stay in bed 30 more minutes you don’t have to get up and exercise… I’ve had guys say, ‘What would Arnold Schwarzenegger do?'” (a form of ‘faking it’)

 

Because they just joined an exercise class and don’t know the steps, they don’t quit and they… you guessed it… ‘fake it till they make it’. Nobody started out knowing what to do. (even with great instruction)

 

What about the “Be like Mike” campaign? A form of faking it?

 

How many of you still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up?

 

And your 47 y.o. 🙂

(Hey, I’m starting all over again. I changed my audience 2 months ago after 7 years of doing something I thought I wanted to do. But I didn’t “love” it. So, I’m inclusive in that question, plus I’m older than that too.)

 

Instead of calling it “faking it till you’re making it”, I like to call it to “act as if”.

 

Just like how people get their panties or boxers in a bunch when they feel judged, I like to call it discernment and everybody does it.  Expect it and get over it. If you say you don’t, I say you’re lying…

 

…We emulate people, especially in sports and entertainment and body transformation.

 

On the internet and social media, if you know who you ‘really’ are and how to express that without caring what people think, you are truly on your way. Other wise most people will “fake it till they make it”… because they are still figuring this out.

 

When I was determined to “zip my pants” again and NOT go up another size, and lost 20+ lbs. pretty quickly, I “acted as if” I was an “expert” on pre-diabetes and it worked for me.

People asked me, “How did you lose weight so fast?”, I said I became a “pre-diabetes expert” and meant it. (not saying that what I did would work for someone else, but if my clients ask me what I did and they do, I will tell them with that caveat… it’s anecdotal. But guess what? People don’t care. They want to know what I did… period)

 

You know who cares that I was calling myself a “pre-diabetes expert”? Someone who has 10 years experience in diabetes with all the initials to boot and is annoyed that people won’t seek them out because they are way more qualified.

(And way more boring too, probably using facts, fear and force to get their clients to change which we know never works. [I’ve written about this before] Diabetics are often the most non-compliant people.

I know my boundaries, I will refer people in a New York minute if they meet ACSM guidelines to do so and are more than I can handle. Besides my style is “I don’t play that non-compliance shit”. Been doing this way too long. If you don’t do what we agreed would work for you and you would try, then I refer you to someone else too.)

 

Also, it’s like what I used to tell my Registered Dietitian friend,

“People who are exercising with a personal trainer, who can relate with that trainer and is getting results, is more likely to ask that weekend-trained personal trainer for their opinion on a personal diet, than to “look up” a strange, yet well-qualified, almost intimidating, Registered Dietitian.” That’s just human nature folks.

 

People who have lasting change continue to get results and come to you because they like you, and can relate to you… not because you were “referred” to them during/after their scary hospitalization or you’re on their insurance plan. Sure, they’ll show up; but will they really change once they leave your office?

When if comes to lifestyle diseases, statistically, probably not. Docs know this. That’s why we have medications and surgery.

 

Maybe if people would adopt a “fake it till you make it” mentality with someone they connect with, someone they want to please, they will have a better chance of building their self-confidence in doing so with multiple short term wins and then changing for good.

 

I don’t consider myself an entrepreneur, an analyst, a “creative” or even a healer.  I am a performer and even though when I get in front of people, talking about improving your “navel to your knuckle area” of your body, I am authentic in what I say and do, I often listen to & think of my idols and want to be like them when I’m speaking/teaching/entertaining. (I’m sometimes “faking it, till I’m making it” and “acting as if” with that too)

 

 

What’s wrong with that?

 

Call or text me: (732) 620-2193 if you want. I’d like to hear from you.

 

 

All Things Navel to Knuckle

I’ve decided to focus on a particular area of your body.

This part of your body has special needs as you approach 50 or are over 50 already. Both externally and internally.

From your “Navel to your Knuckle”. (From where your navel or belly button is to where your knuckles fall down to your sides when your arms are straight down)

 

Navel to Knuckle (N2K):

 

N2Kdiagram

 

 

 

 

 

This includes improving all things in this area (N2K), for people over 50, for example:

  • Flattening your lower abdomen (tummy). No Dicky-Do for men and No F.U.P.A. for women
  • Activating (firming) your gluts (butt) from sitting all day long. I call it “chair butt”
  • Improving your bladder strength with “Laughs without Leaks” fitness program (small group & private)
  • Living the C.R.A.N. Lifestyle (Calorie Restriction Adequate Nutrition), sleeping better and laughing on a regular basis (Oh, in response to another “health-conscious” friend  acquaintance of mine who asks me if I “eat clean”. I said “sure do”.  And then walked away.
    I must give you my definition of “eating clean”: Clean eating is when you wash your hands first and often; then your food, right? You know like your fruits and veggies and chicken. [Some infection control people told me that washing chicken spreads chicken germs all over the sink.  But it’s ingrained in my head from my Nana. So I’ll always do it.] Clean the top of your cans off BEFORE opening them. I do eat in my car, but if food falls on the seat, between my legs while driving [still the seat], or on the car floor… it stays there.  DO NOT EAT!
    Anyway that’s as “clean” as it gets here. Oh, we eat on “clean” dishes and when we eat till almost full we “clean” the plate into PangPang’s dish (the fat pug). We also follow the “5-second rule” when something drops on the floor. Hoping the floor is “clean” – all sums up my “clean eating”
    .)

Here’s 2 tips for you (example of what we show you):

  1. Pick an easy ritual to follow something that you already do. Like after brushing your teeth, do standing multi-joint exercise. Use 5-10Lb. dumb bells, with correct form do a dead lift into an overhead press, engaging your abdominals throughout. Don’t do the “belly push” which causes that lower pouch, that you work so hard to get rid of. (This is what I actually do. I do 12-15 every morning except Monday.  I don’t exercise on Mondays.) I also walk PangPang for 35-50 minutes daily. Walking works because it COMPLIMENTS my strength muscle-making, fat-burning morning exercise. Walking alone is not going to give you the look/results you want. (but don’t stop doing it, if that’s what you do now.  Just add 5-7 minutes of a N2K exercise. It can be done at other times of the day too.) We also have exercises you can do in the bed (not the horizontal mambo, either.)Oh, don’t forget to stretch before going bed. We will be posting a great hip flexor stretch in an upcoming post. I need to film my brother doing it.  Just having tight hip flexors causes you to have a belly pouch. WOW! Right? (A great physical therapist couple showed me this in 2007, when they were writing their book, “Your Body, Your Responsibility”.)
  2. How much you eat is critical.  Most people eat to fuckin’ much. When you eat is important too. We teach you how to Intermittently Eat (I.E.) It’s very important to exercise on an empty stomach on our program. Please don’t apply this to other exercise programs.  We are not exercising for 45, 60 or 90 minutes. What you do is live in a “fasted-state” and you intermittently eat at strategic times (like when you’re really, truly hungry).  Here’s the best part – you eat what you want. Sure, sure, sure you have to cut out some foods but not forever! So, if you haven’t already, you should get the food list on the C.R.A.N. Lifestyle. Most of the foods are from ALDI stores. Sign up for 2X a month emails for more N2K tips and announcements, at above right, to get the immediate food list. You’ll be surprised at all the food choices.

 

 

These are just 2 examples of how easy it is to use and improve that area of your body (N2K) without even getting on the ground. (this example)

 

But there are other time-saving exercises we do (best for people over 50, starting to exercise again) to improve that N2K area and simple strategies on what/how/when to eat foods off the ALDI list.

 

That’s it for now.

 

If you want the free chapter (bonus chapter) from “The No-Dicky-Do Diet” book, please sign up to get it in 2016.

 

This is a brand new list.  You will not automatically be put on it.  I am asking your permission.  I want you to want to be on it and receive my stuff.  C’mon it’ll be fun… time to get some good shit.  No more bore!

minkylogonohot

 

When it’s time to QUIT

When I knew it was time to quit…

 

I never expected this much new, fun and exciting content would emerge afterward. After I decided to quit and do what I really love.

I was free to really listen to my current clients and design a class that would help their specific needs and their problem areas.  They also loved to laugh and so did I. (I began to record all my jokes that they laughed at during my exercise classes and presentations)

 

My latest and true, “feels right” journey started about 6 months ago when I decided to “quit” trying to force something on an audience that wasn’t congruent with who I was. I just couldn’t deliver. I kept “dropping the ball”.
Now I’ve read that you shouldn’t quit. “Don’t give up!”, they say. Keep trying and stay the course. Well, I did for eight years. I stayed committed to this audience and wanted to help them do what I had done. Which was to combine something I thought I loved with something I actually loved.

There’s a problem right there, yes?

 

Eight years ago, I decided I was going to combine my love for fitness with my skills and training in nursing and develop programs for a new field in nursing, called “Fitness Nursing”. These programs would train nurses, like myself who were interested in fitness & nursing, and combine the two.
Eight years ago was also the time that my mother, who was also my best friend, died. She was a retired nurse and she dropped dead while on a treadmill at a local gym. (BTW – My mother was a “young 72”, never sick or in the hospital as a patient.)
This seemed like the perfect way to honor and “show” her (my mom) that I wouldn’t let her down and really do something great with my nursing.

 

See my mom encouraged me to go back to school for nursing when I was a single mother on welfare and my current college degree wasn’t doing what I thought it would. I needed to make some money and support myself and my son. I needed to make her proud and get off welfare. And even though she was gone, I felt compelled to do this to make me feel better.
As Dr. Venus Opal Reese, “The Black Woman Millionaire Mentor” asks you, “When did life break your heart?”
Life broke my heart then and I had to do something to cover up that pain.
I was blinded by my grief and my guilt. I felt that I should have done more to help my mother. My goodness a treadmill killed her? Yes, exercise can kill. (Make sure you put that in your waivers and disclaimers) Exercise can kill, especially, when you’re not well.

 

Even though I had many ups and downs during the last 8 years, the common denominator through it all was… I wasn’t enjoying what I was doing. I felt like a “phoney” for 8 years.

 

Has this ever happened to you? Do you feel that way now?
I admired nurses, for goodness sake, my mom was my first exposure and impression of nurses. My mother named my brother “Corey” after Julia, the t.v. show in the late 1960’s about a black nurse played by Dihann Carroll who named her the t.v. show son, “Corey”. I even went to work with my mom at various healthcare facilities, usually during snow storms. So nursing was in my blood, right?

Wrong.
See, I wasn’t a nurse in my heart. Turns out, I was more like my dad… a performer,  a joker, a sarcastic bitch.
I graduated from college in the 1980’s and went on the road as a traveling stand-up comedienne. (No, my parents were not too proud, but what could they do. I was grown)
If I told you how I got the great jobs/positions I did in nursing over the 25 years in it; you’d agree… I put on a performance.

 

They were dream jobs. Jobs NOT in the paper (we looked for jobs in the newspaper back then)

I was literally paid to speak in front of audiences out at community events, some quite fancy and others in basements… but they all involved me being able to do a “show”.

I even was paid a nurses’ rate to teach exercise classes for 2 major hospital systems for years. That’s the only reason I was able to stay in the field of nursing.

Being on the units, I knew I would eventually kill someone.
Since I was in those “I like to hear myself talk” positions, I felt I could train other nurses, like me who wanted “off of the unit” and to educate and demonstrate fitness to those people who had physical limitations too.
I never worked full-time as a nurse, I always had other “side gigs/positions” in sales, worked in gyms and trained people to become certified as personal trainers and did traveling and speaking gigs about stress and health for what was then called, Nursing Spectrum and other nursing organizations and private events.

 

But I found out quickly that nursing is quite conservative and too politically correct for my personality on stages. I was held back in what I could say, do and sell.

 

Other nurses in the industry of speaking were always telling me to “tone it down” or “you can’t say that”. On evals I would get, “I didn’t appreciate her humor or “her humor was inappropriate…” or “why does she dress like that… not appropriate for this venue”. My abs were so cut, that you could see them through the light and tight Danskin top I wore on stage (sometimes).
Meanwhile when I did my own private gigs, I got rave reviews and people would tell me to stop making them laugh because they were going to “pee their pants!” (Ironically something I help people with today 🙂 )
My mistake was I tried to carry my “private gig mentality” and making money and an impact, in a way that worked against what healthcare does AND into a profession who generally only cared about accreditation and if their employer would pay for stuff. Which I can understand. But it was so BORING to me. I wanted to entertain!

 

What is it that you really want to do?

 

So, I guess dropping the “F-bomb” once in a while and talking about crotches in a joke to make a certain point get across easier, usually didn’t make the cut for contact hours (credits for nursing licenses). So I kept it as “sterile” as I could.
The fitness nurse thing sounded like a great idea, I had collected, over time without much effort or marketing, 3,000 nurses on an e-mail list.

I made erratic money.

I was all over the place because it never felt right.

 

But whenever I did make money, I felt like I was tied up and partially gagged, even guilty at times and was doing things for the wrong reasons. (To please my mom)
The nurses who showed up, were great.

But that was it.

Because of lack of sales training and market development and identity/clear objectives, my program(s) fell by the wayside. In the garbage or on a shelf to never be seen again. The “shelf grave” I call it.
So after 8 years of trying to do this… I quit. I gave it up. All 3,000 names deleted.

Sometimes, as Seth Godin says in his book, “The Dip”, you have to know when to quit.

That time when you just can’t talk to another nurse (for 40 minutes) who says they “hate their job” and wants to do more “preventative” work (which doesn’t sell and I couldn’t say it anymore) and work with “healthy” people. Knowing in my gut that they aren’t going to do anything.

 

That’s not just nurses, that’s all people who suffer from the “grass is greener” effect.

 

I believe that you are who you are and your work is how you survive. I could have been working as a housekeeper, but I still would be trying to get people to laugh and sell them something on the side.
I am in contact with about 10 nurses who I’ve met through the years who are like me: brass balls, big mouths, sarcastic, non-empathetic to those who lived by the sword and then want “fixing” (immediately). Not really qualities of a “caring” nurse, you think?

 

Have you ever told someone to get their own damn bedpan? Or tell a nurse supervisor to kiss where the sun don’t shine? Well, yours truly has. (And I wasn’t necessarily having a bad day)
The truth is we (my other 10 “done with this shit” comrades) just happen to be nurses. It was not our “calling”. It was a job that provided a means to an end. I could’ve been doing anything, but because of the influence of my mother, (who’s calling was to be a nurse), I became a nurse… but for the wrong reasons.
I equate it to wanting to become a teacher to have the summers off.

 

 

(But don’t get me wrong, it’s NOT wasted at all. ALL LIFE EXPERIENCE contributes to your “calling”. We don’t always know what that is in a definite way.  Our “calling” evolves with our life experiences. Even though I don’t want to work as a nurse anymore, I got a lot of “shick” (material) for my comedy while working in” nursing 🙂 )

 

 

We (these few soon-to-be former nurses and I) have bonded through my 8 years of fog. We are performers and heretics and don’t care what other people think who would never listen to our message(s) anyway.
We know we have to polarize and can’t help everyone. We are in it for the money (without apology) and that money allows us to make an impact in those 1,000 people, true fans, we know we can help. (From Tim Ferriss to Jeff Goins, all are talking about the “only 1,000 true fans we need” to find and speak directly.)

Focus on them and speak without worry of offense or backlash. That can only happen when you don’t worry about losing your job and following rules. When you know who your tribe is and what they want and how you can help them, there’s no stopping you.

Today, I use nurse in my title (The Joking Fitness Nurse) because in some of my jokes and stories I refer to healthcare. But that’s it. People ask me what I do I tell them I’m a performer and  writer.

“Of what?”

I continue to say, “Of all things concerning and improving the part of the body from ‘your navel to your knuckle’ in people over 50 years of age. That can be from a comedy act about how to STOP stuffing 10Lbs. in a 5Lb. bag to an exercise class that helps women ‘laugh without leaks’ to writing about how men over 50 can reduce their ‘Dicky-Dos’.”

Then I may say, “I call myself ‘The Joking Fitness Nurse'”. Only then may they get it.  It’s new, but I love it and I’m sure not everyone will get it… but that’s o.k. I crack myself up everyday, anyway.
I also will work in a limited capacity with those 10 soon-to-be former nurses who want some expert advising on how to develop their message and programs in the fitness & diet space. (A Fitness Nurse Consultant)
But mostly, I focus on getting through to people over 50 who are not going to do the t.v. exercise programs and are concerned about holding it (their body) together between their “navel and their knuckle” through fitness, diet and fun.
And I’m glad that there are nurses out there who do what they do and do it well. I just am not one of them.

 

Are you in a position like this?

 

If so, consider strongly… quitting. (not your J-O-B which keeps the lights on), but some side gig that’s not going the way you planned after years of trying to be like someone else. (kind of, right?)

 

Consider quitting. Throwing out that 3-legged table and build a whole new one.

 

Start talking to one person who gets your message and is excited with how you are helping them. Then find 3 more. Then 5. Then 10 and so on.

 

It’s slow going but it’s much more gratifying to be authentic with 25 people who love and appreciate your work than 3,000 on an e-mail list who can detect your phoniness and only 8% open or they never open your emails. They don’t even show you the effort of unsubscribing.  They really don’t care about a damn thing you say or do.

 

Just like Kevin O’Leary says on the t.v. show Shark Tank, “You’re dead to me”. This is what they are telling me.

 

Today my email list of just 50 “true fans” gets an open rate of 68%. I like those stats much better.

If you’d like to join this list please do so in the upper right.

 

I have left up my Facebook page , Fitness Nurse Consultant, with over 750 likes, but that’s over 8 years – not too impressive. However if it helps one nurse get clear or an idea, I’ll leave it up there.

 

The Facebook page that I will post all my stuff that I currently do, like Twitter posts and tips for my audience, is directly to the right – LMAO Consulting. Feel free to “like” it.

Much appreciated. I’ll reciprocate the “like” if you want.

 

Remember this “quitting” is after 8 years. Not something I started on a whim or a few months and then quit. So I am definitely not “giving up” too soon.

 

I finally through working with great mentors in this last year was able to say, “Sorry mom, but I’m moving on from nursing. I don’t owe it to you anymore”. The crazy thing about it all, is that my mom would probably, no definitely, want me to move on and be happy in my work and life.

 

I’m off to teach one of my Navel to Knuckle exercise classes, called “Laughs without Leaks” for women over 50. Some of them call me the Joking Fitness Nurse, some of them call me a Fitness Nurse some of them call me a “sadist”.

 

But it is where I perform without fear of offense and backlash.

 

I help my clients, who love me, to improve all things in that area of the body which includes creating a safe space for them to be themselves, let it all hang out, then how to hold it in, how to decrease their tummies, activate their gluts (butts) and to “laugh without leaks”. (To NOT pee their pants!) Ha Ha!