“Don’t change your act, change your audience”
~Lisa Sasevich was told this to her by her father, a famous ventriloquist
At every event that I saw Lisa, she would quote her father and tell us this great quote. We even would yell it back to her as a group of hundreds. I really resonated with that quote…
I heard that from Lisa S. about 7 years ago. Over and over again. Why haven’t I taken heed?
What about this quote:
“Only hang with people who recognize the greatness in themselves”
Why you ask? Because as David goes on to say, “If you don’t have the self confidence, self-esteem, etc. to see the greatness in you… you can’t see the greatness in others.”
People who don’t see their worth, often are haters, criticizers and negative. They cannot be creative when they are always trying “to get”.
I admire these 2 people very much. Spent a lot of money learning from them. But I never really acted on their lesson. It wasn’t until I got truth slapped did all their lessons finally open my eyes. Particularly those 2 quotes.
I was living as a Zombie for almost 10 years, until I was “truth-slapped” not too long ago. Not “bitch-slapped”, but “truth-slapped” into a new perspective. (a “bitch slap” is a slang term used when a pimp would slap “a bitch”, his woman, so hard it would spin her around and wake her up to never do or say that again!)
10 years ago this year, the date November 12th, my best friend – my mother – died. She dropped dead while on a treadmill. My mom, a Registered Nurse, would say, “When you die… you’re dead. Hopefully you won’t suffer and go quick.”
Well mom, you got your wish.
We (my mom and I) would travel around together. I did talks on stress, exercise & weight loss and worked as a RN to pay my bills. I talked about what my irrational want was and still is today – NOT having my thighs rub together and ways to reduce your thunder thighs. I tried to be “professional”, but often my stand-up comedian part of me would come out. I would even drop the “F bomb” if it fit.
In my world, there is a time to be serious but most times not. Some times my mom seemed to be the only one who laughed out loud at my jokes from the stage. That laughter would start other laughter, it would be contagious. GOOD TIMES!
But after she died, suddenly the way she did, I retreated and felt that I HAD to continue to work as a nurse, for her NOT me.
I wasn’t the best nurse or employee.
My attempts at trying be someone that I wasn’t – was, in hindsight, comical. Even sometimes dangerous, which is not so funny.
From stealing toilet paper to calling out because I had an audition to pretending a paranoid patient’s food was poisoned (yeah, heresy I know), I was in the wrong place.
I stopped caring about my patients. I was written up, never fired but asked to leave. The “nursing shortage” saved my job(s) many times. (ie: They wanted to fire me, but it was a Friday [3-11 shift] evening before a holiday weekend and they could never get anybody to work)
To top it off, everyone around me was an asshole.
That’s when one day, a guy, a regular guy, said to me after I stated the above when I was complaining about work…
“Ya know, when everyone around you is an asshole… YOU’RE probably the asshole!” (Truth Slap #1)
AND “You’re not just in the wrong place, you’re doing the wrong thing.
Change your audience and do what you are naturally good at doing.
And one more thing… Why are you trying to please dead people?” (Truth Slap#2)
This is what I was told by a couple of people in so many words.
I have heard this before. But I didn’t want to listen, really listen to it.
We may want to do things in the memory of people, but not with the guilt and shame I had. My mom would not have wanted me to be miserable. After all she laughed at my jokes and I have some of her sense of humor.
That is what I honor her with now. Not doing something I hate.
I love nurses. I hate nursing, the job, the work, the rules.
I don’t have a warm & fuzzy personality. “Maybe if you stopped eating cheese fries and sitting on your ass for 16 hours a day, you wouldn’t be losing your foot today”, that was my feeling for this patient – not very compassionate, right?
(But deep down, how many of you agree?)
If you don’t have the basic necessary inner skills for the work you choose… then get out! Like for nursing compassion, caring, hard work are necessary beyond the technical skills you must acquire. But those technical skills can be taught. You can’t teach those inner skills. That’s why I know nursing was NOT my calling, as they say.
I’ll finish this post with one quote my mother always said to me, that her mother always said to her:
“Start out how you want to end up!”
It started as my grandmother wanting to warn my mother about marriage and doing everything. In other words, don’t start cooking 3 course meals every night, folding laundry all the time, or even working like a dog, if you’re not going to do it til the end… because others will expect that of you and resent you when/if you stop.
I didn’t take heed to this advice either.
But now that I’ve gotten “truth-slapped”, not once but twice, I live it everyday and am happier for it.
We (my co-host Tarsha & I) feel so strongly about getting “truth-slapped” that it is one of our categories in our Fun Story Short game.
Also, one of the rules for being a guest/contestant is that you must tell us 2-3 lessons/quotes that you resonate with that changed your thinking, even changed your life – from another business person, guru or coach or family member, etc. – just because you want to thank them.
Those are my 3, what are yours?
Thank you Lisa, David and Mom!