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The Unprofessional.me

The Unprofessional.me

I’ve been called a lot of things while working in the career I chose for the past (?) years.  I often wonder, “Why am I even on Linked-In anymore?” I can’t help myself.

 

 

 

Haven’t you heard about the lap top entrepreneur bed bug, called “Illdoanythingtonotgotothisdamnjobtoday” parasite.

 

 

 

It (the parasitic bug) comes out and bites you at night and sucks the mundane life out of you, while sleeping (but not soundly because of your stressful work) & you’re on the verge of night terrors right before the alarm goes off. You know in your heart that you really can’t stand what you’re currently doing and you have to stop or your actions are going end you up in court or worse.

 

 

Well anyway, the bug bit me. Now that I have this “I need to be free” condition, it has consumed me. My mundane, zombie-like life must end. I’m alive and free to be myself. AND – So, I authentically can’t be on Linked-In. I simply am not “professional” in this emergent state of personal freedom.

 
(So, is there really a point in writing in how many years I’ve worked in an industry? No one really cares. As soon as you hear or read, “I’ve been a ______ for 15, 20, 30 years”, you know it’s going to be something boring coming next or something with so much professional jargon, you wonder how it is relevant to you.

Too bad, ’cause now that I’m older, I feel that my years of work and life don’t matter either. My 18-25 y.o. students sure don’t get my stories/jokes any more. They think I’m crazy ’cause I laugh at my own jokes. I don’t give a fuck anymore. I value myself and respect other people for valuing their self.)

 

 

 

 

So now, finally, I am going to listen to people who repeatedly said things over the years to let me know.

 

Then, it also hit me, finally, I realized I was wrong in thinking it was them who were f*cked up, then I realized, Hey, it’s really me. It’s NOT them. Damn.

Here are some comments made to me over the years:

  1. “Nice smile”
  2. “You said… you do what?”
  3. “That’s so unprofessional”
  4. “That’s disturbing”
  5. “You don’t know how to talk to people”
  6. “You’re too funny (and bad), you’re in the wrong profession!”
  7. “You should get out before you kill somebody”
  8. “If you want ‘personal freedom’ why are you working here and doing this?”
  9. “How did you get that job?!”

 

Besides the “nice smile” comments, many people knew that I didn’t belong in that profession. Especially those folks I worked with directly. Should I apologize for my lack of professionalism because I was in the wrong profession?

 

 

O.K. I’m sorry. Well, not really…

 

 

I remember watching a late, late night comedy special called, “Comics Unleashed” with host, Byron Allen one night and a comic on the show was asked a question by the host.

 

 

Byron Allen:  So (I forget the comic’s name), I hear you used to be a nurse. Why did you stop nursing and become a comedian?
Comedian:  I guess I stopped caring about my patients.  (There was laughter…)

 

 

When I heard that, I immediately had a rush of warmth through my veins and I perked up and said, “That’s me! That’s exactly how I feel!”  I wanted to kiss this man/comedian through the t.v. I thought… he did it, why can’t I?

 

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I can listen to this You Tube video and piece from HBO with Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Louis CK, and Ricky Gervais, again and again. But that would be it. 2 or 3 times is enough. Clearly though in my very busy life, if I have time to watch this hour piece 3 times it’s better than good!

Here it is, if you want to “get” me…

 

I feel so at home with these men. I am not offended in the least. I miss Joan Rivers. She was never offended, really.

 

Anyway my phone friendly landing page is below, there’s more info there and easier to read to…

 

I can: www.nobodyslistening.wtf   (Visit to see what’s up now!)

 

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Back to my story…

 

Why can’t I just stop doing what I don’t like and do what I originally did right out of college 30 years ago. That’s right I did stand-up comedy in the 1980’s.
No political correctness. No guilt. No shame. Just laughs and of course, hecklers.

 

Today my jokes from the 80’s won’t work so good. But I notice I still make people laugh or they get offended. In comedy, that’s not so bad. My humor and jokes/stories definitely work best for older folks and those people who have opinions and aren’t afraid to express them. People who have “a set” and have lived a little. I often will use self-deprecating humor too, to show I’m fucked-up like most people represented in my jokes.

Growacet, for those easily offended or can't take a joke, unprofessional.me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am getting out and moving on. I’m looking forward to going back to my original love… comedy. Doing it and writing it. And making a change.

 

 

This time around however, I am seated at the mic; not standing. So I created a heretical, comical persona, Minky, and call myself a sit down comedian.
A heretic is one with an unorthodox opinion.

Some of Minky’s heretical opinions:

  • I am a proud UN-hyphenated American & support Libertarian values
  • Candy ruins your appetite. Exactly!
  • Don’t exercise to lose weight (DE2LW) (Exercise for any other reason, except that!)
  • Show me how to lose weight in my world; not yours.
  • With relationships, start out how you want to end up. (Another way of saying, “don’t start something you can’t finish”)
  • I LOVE the game of football. (No, not just a fan of a particular team, a winning team, or the “Super Bowl”, but I know & love the actual game. All levels – Pee wee, High School, College, etc. Will you watch any football game during “Game of Thrones”? How about during “The Bachelor”? or do you follow the NFL & ESPN on Twitter? Right… that’s what I thought) Other ladies who love the game, know what I mean!
  • My motto, “The only thing low-fat in my kitchen is ME!”
  • You’re NOT a “Jeep kind of a gal”, if you can’t drive a stick shift.
  • Kids are germ magnets. (I don’t like kids)
  • I LOVE licorice! Red & Black.
  • Balance, “life balance” is bunk. Counter-balancing is what we do best.
  • I yearn for “Personal Freedom“. It has to be in everything I do… Including the diet I choose to eat and the exercise I choose to do. (My personal freedom diet is called, the Hunger PangPang Diet. Get yours!)
  • No apologies when not necessary.
  • Nobody cares that you’ve worked somewhere 30 years. Getting old and  being experienced is NOT valued by others, so value yourself. Don’t rely on others for value. Today if you have lots of “likes” and “followers”, yet don’t know your ass from your mouth, some people feel validated. (flea market mentality, I get it though)
  • Know yourself. Be yourself. Love yourself.
  • There are no healthy people. Just people trying to get healthier.
  • I can’t stand it when folks want diversity; yet at the same time, they want “sameness” and not to be seen as different.
  • There is a time to be serious; but most times not.
  • Do need to exercise to build your thighs. (If you want thunder thighs. Thunder Thighs look good on some people, like “the Rock”, a young Arnold Schwarzenegger, even Serena Williams. But not on me.)
  • No exercise on Mondays.
  • Everybody judges. Yes – even you. So get over it. As soon as you say, “I don’t judge.” I know that you most certainly do. If it makes you feel any better, call it “discernment”. It’s normal. It’s human nature. It’s self-preservation. If you want to quote the Bible, do me a favor and quote the whole “judgement quote”, not just the first part that makes you feel “holier” than thou.
  • Regardless of their political views – I LOVE the Jerry Springer show, Snoop Dogg, Ice-T, Ice Cube, Lady GaGa, Martha Stewart & Vanna White
  • Transferring job skills don’t always work. Just because you can get someone to get out of bed after surgery (in your comfort zone), does NOT mean you can sell a coaching program for $497 over the phone or in person over someone’s kitchen table (not in your comfort zone) It’s again all about you and how you feel about your ability to share your passion and make an offer. Selling takes practice, rejection, risk and more practice.
  • “Incongruency” (not being aligned with who you are and your beliefs) stresses you more than you will ever know.
  • Can’t burn fat on your ass, when you have food in your stomach.
  • You have to enjoy laughing. Or you can’t be around me.
  • People eat too fucking much.
  • You can instantly improve you face… smile. (fake it if necessary)
  • “I have an ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude. I’m NOT indifferent, on the contrary, I am comfortable with being different. ‘Shrugging your shoulders’ is indifferent. Staring failure in the face and showing it your middle finger back at it is saying, ‘I don’t give a fuck!’. Is being different.”**
  • I love Pilates because of how it makes me feel. If you want to learn beginning Pilates exercises, I’ll help you. For free. (that’s heretical)
  • Many times I like dogs better than people. They are loyal and sincere. And they don’t care that you blame them for farting.
  • Even though I don’t like kids, laughing babies are hilarious to me!
  • And in the spirit of TRUE HERESY…
    I am Black AND I support Trump. I’ve always liked Donald Trump. Here at the Jersey Shore (NYC tv Stations), Donald Trump has always been in the news. No surprises here. Let the reality show begin.

 

More on MINKY, my persona CLICK HERE

 

If these opinions make me “unprofessional” then that’s what I am, I guess.  Like I asked early in this post, “Why am I still on Linked-In?” I purposely will NOT post this piece on that “professional” site. So if it makes it’s way there, it wasn’t by me, the author. Hey Linked-In/Social Media police … You can’t control Social Media!

Here’s some of my heretical articles I keep and refer to often:

 

I’m an UNprofessional and proud of it!

www.nobodyslistening.wtf

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The Nobody’s Listening Show starts Monday, January 9th, 2017, at 8:30pm EST. My first co-host is Nat, The exercise expert.

Call in and eavesdrop at:

(425) 440-5100; code: 529861#

See ALL NLS Recordings under Blogroll. 

I hope you’ll eavesdrop on us!

 

 

 

Minky